Saturday, November 24, 2018

Men that wanna be Fathers when it's convenient for them



The hardest part about being a parent, is having to do the majority of the work on your own when you and your ex spouse agreed that they would help after the split. This is not fair to a child to have a  mother that is constantly tired and overwhelmed. Not just physically overwhelmed, but financially and mentally overwhelmed. The absent parent is usually not concerned with the well being of the child or the mental health of the struggling mother. An absent father usually want to be involved when he/she is feeling guilty or when it is convenient for them. Absent fathers are involved when it fits their schedule, when they feel like it, or when they are not holding a grudge. It's not fair for the child, when he only is able to feel his father's love during sporting events or engagements like proms or graduations. The parent with full custody is responsible for taking the child/children to doctors appointments, school conferences, recreational events, and making sure they have food and clean clothing daily. The absent father is only available when he feels guilty or when it benefits him. For example, a dead beat parent will pick his children up during the holidays to show off the children as prizes or ornaments. Or the dead beat father will show up at football games or little league baseball games to play the proud father role. It's all fake to make the dead beat parent feel good about themselves. More than anything, it's not fair to the child, the child will grow to resent the dead beat parent because the child will begin to understand that he/she is only being used by the absent father.

Friday, November 23, 2018

Men that complain about paying child support



What's makes a deadbeat parent complain about paying child support? Well, most deadbeats don't want anyone giving them responsibility, that's why they avoid their children in the first place. A deadbeat parent will pay rent, buy clothing, eat, and put gas in their car to travel. Not all deadbeat dads are broke/poor.  That is a myth. They just don't feel like they have an obligation to their children. Many dead beat parents don't feel as if they should help the child/children once they split from the mom. Deadbeats complain about child support but fail to see that their children need financial support. Babies need diapers and milk. Growing toddlers need clothing and food. Growing teens have needs that require money. Let's not mention the custodial parent has to pay rent, car notes, insurance, and other necessities. The dead beat parent doesn't care about the needs of the child, they feel like the custodial parent should suffer. This is like punishing the child because the relationship didn't work. The actual factual is that the child cannot survive on air and water. A child needs financial support. It's no way around it. There are so many people on social media that complain about paying child support and comparing it to slavery. I've seen bitter women upset because their boyfriend is obligated to pay child support. There are women that feel like child support is a bitter baby momma's revenge. The truth is that whether the baby momma is bitter, angry or frustrated, the child is still entitled to eat and have support. It's not about bitterness, or two parents not getting along. Put your pride aside, put your selfishness aside and support your children. If the absent parent is the mother, then she should be obligated to pay support.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Men really love, need, and admire Strong Black Women

The "Strong Black Woman" phrase has often been associated with violent, loud, ghetto, rude, or masculine Black Women. People have taken the phrase "Strong Black Woman" and have coined it into something to be ashamed of. Men claim they resent "Strong Black Women" because of the negative traits that come with "Strong Black Women".

The same men that despise "Strong Black Women" really admire our strength and wish to have one in their life. Men want a strong, sane, financially independent woman.

Depending on which day of the week it is, men in the Black Community are complaining about women not submitting, then complaining about a woman should be going 50/50 on bills and rent Men need a "Strong Black Woman" to step in when he lose his job. When a man is sick, he need a strong woman to take care of him and see that his needs are taken care of. When the family is suffering financially, a man need his woman to stand up and be strong. Maybe even hold down the house until finances are back in order. Men act like they have this obsession with women submitting to them and their needs. The truth is, a submissive wife is a wife that needs to be taken care of. Mostly financially. So, all this crap about we hate "Strong Black Women", or "Strong Black Women" are dominate, overbearing and they emasculate their men, is just some rhetoric that men came up with to shame women and play victims. The truth is, Black Women were forced to take leading roles. We were forced to step in when fathers, brothers, and uncles went to prison, died, or abandoned the family. Black women were forced to stand up and take care of every member in some households. We all know a grandmother that took on more work and died early due to being forced into a strong position for the family. That took strength, commitment and work. It took a "Strong Black Woman"

Proud Sidechicks that love being a Mistress Part 1

I was recently cruising and clicking through some facebook groups and came across a post asking women what is their opinion on being a sidechick. Some women were appaulled, some where recovering sidechicks with regrets, but some were proud to have been sidechicks. There were a few women that bragged about being a sidechick and revealed all of the perks that came from being a sidechick. Usually money, not being obligated to him, and not having to do housework or cook everyday like the wife.

 I know everyone will say that a sidechick owes no loyalty to the wife, or a married man is the one that should be faithful. I understand the whole point of holding the man accountable. I blame the husband and the sidechick that is willing to spread her legs to a taken man knowing he is married, however, the married man is dead wrong. I blame him for playing with a woman's heart and playing on her vulnerability.

The problem with women that brag about being sidechicks, is that they live in an illusion that they are winning. Sidechicks convince themselves that they have the upper hand because the wife doesn't know that her man is cheating. A sidechick will think she is getting away with something because the husband is sneaking with her and not getting caught. It's all a game and a recipe for drama, pain, misery, wasted time and broken hearts.

The mistress/sidechick is not the only one at fault. Even if she knows that the man is married. I don't put all the blame on the sidechick. I totally blame the husband for being a liar and cheater. The sidechick is usually seeking love and companion. The married man uses that to manipulate her. Yes, man will always take advantage of a lonely woman that is seeking love and validation. A married man will use money, fake promises, and pity to pull a sidechick in. He may convince his mistress that he is so unloved, unappreciated in his marriage, and under marital stress. He will convince his sidechick that he is only with his wife out of obligations. Obligations such as children, financial reasons, or the marriage itself. The truth is, if a man is so miserable or so unhappy he will walk. Even if it cost him a lot, most men will not tough it out with a woman if they are miserable. Men walk away from their families everyday. This is just a man playing pity games to convince his sidechick that he would leave the wife, but..... he cant. He will convince and manipulate his sidechick into thinking that he is in love with her and the wife is the only bridge standing in the way. This is mind manipulation that women fall for. I've heard women say how much they love a married man, or talk about how hard the married man has it when he goes home. The fell for the pity and sad marital stories.

The married man doesn't love his sidechick or wife. He's only good at convincing them, that he loves them. The truth is, the man is in love with himself and using women to boost his ego and satisfy his sexual appetite. The sidechick refuse to accept that she is being used and will deny that her purpose is to fill a temporary void in a couples marriage. The sidechick will convince herself that the married man really love her and really wants to be with her. This is the effect a conniving manipulating man has on a vulnerable woman. I really hate to see sidechicks getting played, lied to, and mislead by a married man. Even if they put themselves in a position to be used, I still had to see a woman get played. The cold part is that you can't really convince a sidechick that she is just a sex object and something to keep a married man occupied until he goes home to his wife.


Large plus size women should never lower their standards to get a date or long term spouse

                           I would advise any plus size woman not to lower her standards to attract a spouse or get a date. Men are speaking...