More young adults have dreams of earning social media income instead of pursuing college or regular jobs

     Many teenagers have watched online influencers gain fame, money and notoriety by YouTube ad revenue, sponsorship, affiliate marketing, and selling their own products. Some have went viral on Tiktok or Facebook by posting comedy style videos, cooking tutorials, or even by giving their opinions of celebrity gossip and current events. These are fun ways to make money and even gain fame if that is what you are after, but this also discourages teens from working regular jobs or going to college or joining the military. Some high school age children see people getting rich by having fun and posting online, they may feel like college is some far fetched dream that will take up too much of their free time. Everyone wants instant success and short cuts to fame and fortune. As we move more into the digital world where everything (almost everything) is online within our fingers reach. This is where everyone spends their time, it would make sense to make some money and avoid commuting to work and filling out a bunch of job applications that probably will never call back anyway. However, we must realize and teach our children that everyone is not going to gain instant success and become a big name money making online personality. 

    Going to college, starting a business, or working a regular 9 to 5 job is still something to look forward to and more realistic. We still need doctors, nurses, lawyers, bus drivers, teachers, and retail workers. These jobs may not be for everyone, but neither is going viral and getting rich from a podcast. College is still something to thrive for. It's a place to network, find identity and figure out what you want to to do for the rest of your live. College is about finding long lasting friendships, building lifelong bonds and get prepared for the world outside of our parents nest.

With the high cost of living, just about everyone is looking for a second income or a way to work less and make more money while having more time to play and party. 

Social Media influencers with cult like followers claiming to be femininity coaches and passport brothers

 As social media becomes more popular and addictive, more people online gravitate to social media influencers for dating advice, decorating tips, celebrity gossip, and marriage problems. Many influencers grow an audience that behaves like a small cult after hearing the influencers opinions on trending subjects. People began to follow these influencers and hang on to their every word of advice and rely on them to make decisions for them. Even if we enjoy influencers topics and their input on subjects, we must use logic, and take every word with a grain of salt we hear online. 

For instance, we have groups like the passport brothers that encourage their followers to avoid  women in America  (especially black women) and seek submissive women in 3rd world countries overseas. Many of these men are hurt, scorned, and bitter after dating women that would not submit to their needs or wouldn't put their goals and dreams on hold to cater their fragile egos. Many of these men have narcissistic personality traits and are willing to travel out of the country to meet women that will treat them like a delicacy and obey them as if they are royalty. These men believe that going overseas to date or marry women is more convenient because women here in the States have higher standards, are too educated and too independent. So they encourage men to travel for dating and sexual escapades because women here in the states are not desperate enough. These men want women to compete for them by telling us we will end up lonely and die alone. This is a scare tactic that these influencers are using on women to get them to "behave" in a way that makes men feel honored and needed

We also have femininity coaches and woman dating coaches that gain a following then start giving out advice based on what they think their followers want to hear and what is going to keep getting them likes and views for monetary gain. These are women telling other women they should be submissive to men, cater to men, and feminize themselves and soften their behavior to impress men. This thinking is backwards and harmful to women. It is harmful because women are being told to change who they are to land a man. Why should a successful woman with a great career have to downplay her education and qualities to land a man. Why should a woman downplay being a homeowner or a frequent traveler because it will make her look too independent for a man.  As women, we should not be told how to submit in ways that make us lessen our own values and beliefs. We should know how to respect, love, and support our spouses without having to play a submissive role when we were not raised to be submissive. As grown women, we should not have to mute ourselves or change our character to make a man feel comfortable while suppressing our thoughts and ideas. This is what these particular influencers are pushing.

These type of influencers are usually not educated coaches and counselors. I do not hear them speaking of having psychology degrees or an education in family/marriage counseling from an accredited school. Many of these women are not married, never have been married but believe they have the secret recipe on how to get a man and keep him happy. These are usually women seeking attention by discipling other women in the presence of men to gain lies. They help men build their self esteem while taunting women are criticising them by saying we are not worthy unless we submit and live as women did in the early 1900s. 

I have no advice on how to get or keep a man. I do not believe there is some quick packaging that can be sold to land a man. Even with advice, every man is different and we all connect with people for different unique reasons. We cannot keep allowing influencers to plant seeds in our heads that make us question our beliefs or true values that we should stand on.

Childless women need to stop invading Discussions for mothers

Too many parenting discussions have been invaded by childless women making derogatory comments and meddling in our safe space. Mothers should have a safe space to talk about problems and issues as well as give and get advice from other mothers. 

Facebook, blogs, and twitter have had many discussions about the issues that surround parenting. Everything is discussed from child support, child care, postpartum depression, to co-parenting with an ex. In many groups, we always have a handful of childless women chime in to brag about how they were super responsible with birth control, or how they refuse to have children until they are in the perfect situation. Child less women will come bragging about how they are able to travel, get 5 degrees, and how they have so much free time to relax because they don't have children.
I have no problems or hate towards women that choose not to have children. I actually commend them for waiting and doing what's best for themselves. My issue is childless women that love to come into groups for mothers, or getting into discussions and ridicule and shame mothers. Or brag about how they got an abortion because they are so much more responsible.

Recently, there was a mother on a popular blog sharing her story of how she had regrets about becoming a mother. She was open and honest about how she felt. She was obviously tired and overwhelmed. Many mothers have had regrets about becoming a mother, for whatever reasons. We as mothers should be able to share our feelings and express ourselves without having childless women bust in our safe space and ridicule us or boast about how they are doing so much better.
There have also been childless women making jokes about single mothers and expressing how they hate children. Yes, HATE!  If you are not a mother and don't plan on having children, why come into a discussion for mothers and make the discussion about YOU? Mothers, should be able to vent and share information with other mothers. We all have issues, regrets, and problems with parenting, even if we are married and have a strong support system. Most mothers go through trials that make us wonder if we should have become a mother. Mothers usually get over this as their children get older and they find peace as a mother. This is natural and we should be able to express ourselves in peace, without childless women coming to police us or point fingers at us. We go through enough that childless women would never imagine or understand.

If you chose to not have children or abort, or put your child up for adoption, feel free to do so.I applaud women for not having children. It's your right, it's your choice. No shame from me, but also respect mothers and allow them to vent. It reminds me of light skin women that invade safe spaces for darker women. Or slim women that cry out for attention when large women are venting.
If you want to brag about being a childless woman, go brag and boast with other childless women. Do not come into a parent group or a discussion for mothers. Many childless women are not even bragging, they are venting and meddling. It's almost like a hobby for childless women to pop into a discussion for mothers to whine about something or brag about how their birth control never failed them. We respect your decision to not become a parent, so please respect our safe space and allow us to have discussions in peace.

Social Media and Depression

Is social media keeping you depressed? Are you spending too much time browsing and scrolling through facebook, Instagram, and SnapChat to look at friends, co-workers and old class mates living their best life. How often to you come across a page of someone celebrating a wedding anniversary, a graduation, or relaxing on vacation with family? Do you allow these images to make you evaluate your own life?

We often look at these images and began to compare them to our own lives. Even if we are happy for our old classmate's wedding, or baby shower, we still tend to think "what about me?"
Or "when am I going to find the love of my life or go back to school to get that master's degree."
We have a tendency to live vicariously through others and sabotage ourselves if we are not making progress at the same pace as others. This can lead to shame, guilt and depression.

The truth is, people can create the perfect life on social media. The happy couple laying on a sandy beach is not going to announce that their vacation will take 3 years to pay off. The happy newly weds will not broadcast how they are struggling financially. We do not see what's really going on behind the smiles, parties, expensive trips, and special engagements.
We cannot allow the lives of others to make us feel unworthy or feel unaccomplished. It's human nature to compare your life to others, but the truth is, you are comparing your life to a lie. You are comparing yourself to another person's image they created for their followers. This can make you feel like you are not accomplished if you are comparing yourself to others.

Take breaks from social media. I know social media can be addictive and a way to kill time, but a few days off can help you evaluate your life and future. Always remember that things are not always the way they appear on social media. A  person in debt can make themselves look  like a millionaire through pictures. An unhappy family can make themselves appear to be a perfect model family. You cannot compare yourself to a bunch of happy images. This is self sabotaging and it only leads to depression. Especially if you already suffer from depression, watching people portray perfection will not help your mental state.

The reason so many men are bitter about Ciara and Russel's marriage

Ciara has been the target of many angry bitter men all over the internet. Ciara is a talented singer and dancer, once dated rapper Future and has a child with him. Prior to him, she dated other men in the music industry before settling down and marrying Russell, who is a wealthy professional foot ball player.
 It is very common for men, especially black men to bash their marriage. Russell has been refereed to as a simp, a wimp, a punk and a fool for marrying a woman that had a baby prior to the marriage. Ciara and Russell appear to be very happy, content and deeply in love, yet we see many bitter men, that are bothered by this family unit. Ciara has been accused of being a gold digger, a THOT, or a user and a woman with mileage on her vagina. Yes, I've seen that posted online. People have become obsessed with their marriage and have constantly made rants about their union. Women are usually cheering the marriage on, while men are angry and bitter. I've seen men get on twitter and Facebook and boldly announce their disgust for Ciara and Russell being a couple.

The reality is, people don't like to see a woman upgrade and improve her life after being considered sluty or promiscuous. I don't know if Ciara was ever promiscuous but there have been rumors that only she can confirm. I don't knock her or judge her if she did go through a hoe faze. The truth is, people think single mothers are suppose to suffer and are forever in debt to society for having a child young or out of wedlock. There will be people that will see a permanent stain on Ciara because she dated a few men and had a baby with a rapper. Ciara is entitled to be happy like anyone else. She and Russell owe it to each other.

Men are really angry and hating hard because Russell just signed a new contract. He is one of the highest paid professional athletes right now. After the announcement, men ran to social media to express their anger. They are angry that the once single mother that dated rappers is married to a multimillionaire. Men are bitter because they feel that a man of Russel's status should have married a virgin with no sexual background.

Read this before jumping into Sex Work

I know many of you have read twitter and facebook pages where women proudly announce they are sex workers. We have seen a trend of young women boasting of being an online sex worker that charge by the hour or young women claiming to be an online sugarbaby. Far too many women are jumping into this line of work with little guidance and high unrealistic hopes.

I've seen women advertising pornhub pages, selling nude pictures, and had the audacity to have pictures of their children on the same page. Rule 1. Never post pictures of your children on a page that you use for adult work. To each it's own, but for the safety of your own children. Working as a sex worker, even if it's just selling nudes, you may attract unhappy customers/clients that turn into stalkers. Your clients that you sell nude videos and pictures to, should never know what your children look like. When I see a young woman selling sex videos on the same facebook page that she has pictures of little Timmy Jr and Lil momma (her children..... I know that she is a naive sex worker that is trying to make some quick money and doesn't have enough common sense to separate her business from her personal life. Sex work is about fantasy, that is why you shouldn't give clients too much info about your personal info.

This is not about hating on sex workers, it's about bringing awareness to gullible newbies that have not done any research and assume being a sex worker is something simple and glamorous. Please remember, once you've posted online nude pictures or made some seductive nude dancing video, those clips can land in anyone's hand. If you are okay with this, go ahead and sell your services to the highest bidder. You have every right to use what you've got to get what you want. (Okay, I used that line from the movie "Players Club", but you all get the point. I'm not against a working girl, I just don't want young newbies to be misguided and overestimate the life of a sex worker. Young women are following the online leaders and have this dream of dodging college and a retail job to strike it rich selling their sexual services via social media. Young women living out this fantasy of becoming the next PinkyXXX or viral nude twerking queen.
 Some don't think about undercover cops on social media that are watching pages and dirty lowlifes that are always looking for their next sex trafficking victim.
Again, this is not to bash and trash the sex industry or sex workers, but I think the truth needs to be spoken. Too many young women are putting their health and lives in danger for the sake of calling themselves a sex worker.

The worse I've seen is a young single mother that brags about all that money she is making, while living from motel to motel with her children in tow with no vehicle. She is bragging about living a lavish life, but is really struggling to pay a motel fee and provide for children. It's a sad situation because so many young single mothers think this is the biggest money craze. Too many women are looking at sex work with money framed lenses. It's sound cliche' but it's heartbreaking.

My overall advice is for women, especially mothers......Research, investigate, be realistic, stop following social media trends and if you do jump head first in the sex business, please separate your sex work from your personal life. Especially your children.

Fat shamming should not be accepted

In recent news online, there have been a frenzy about rapper Future turning down a plus size model from entering a club. Apparently, he didn't want any large women in the club that he was in. Whether he was performing at the club or the owner of the club, nobody should be turned away from a club because of their size. It is not illegal or a sin to be a larger person.
This type of discrimination is still acceptable and people are down playing the discrimination by saying it's just a preference. He doesn't have to date large/plus size women, marry a large woman, or even have plus size friends. But what he cannot do, is stop plus size people from entering public places. Different people have different views and are also using this as an opportunity shame overweight people. People have made derogatory memes and made fat shaming comments on Twitter/Fb and other social media platforms.