Men using body shaming tactics to demean plus size women after rejection

 Recently, while browsing social media, I read a post from a random guy that made a mockery of a  woman's weight. The random  man made a post about large women being too picky in mates when their options are so limited. He body shammed the woman because she wasn't interested in him after a few dates. She declined him intimacy. He ridiculed the woman because of her weight, but actually he was ridiculing her because she didn't entertain his sexual advances. He was making fun of her, not only because she was an overweight woman, but because he felt like she was obligated to entertain his sexual advances. 

Any woman or man regardless of size or body type should not feel obligated to sleep with anyone or entertain anyone because they are obese. I have witnessed several men make disgusting comments about overweight women because the woman didn't give them her number or entertain any type of intimate advances. Usually when a man is rejected,  his ego is deflated and he is embarrassed. The next thing to do is salvage his ego by retaliating on the woman by demeaning her for whatever he sees as a flaw. For overweight women, the flaw they see is weight, but this is after they've been rejected. While the guy is flirting and trying to court the woman, he may say things such as "You are so beautiful" or "I love plus size women" "I only date large women" or my favorite line "All of my exes were big". These are usually gift of gab pick up lines to make the woman feel that he genuinely admires large women.

This is actually pretty common with men everyday and on social media. If they cannot get any attention in the direct messages, these men will resort to name calling and body shamming. This is usually what a man with low self esteem and narcissistic personality traits has to do when he feels rejected. He has to immediately retaliate with childish name calling like a bratty toddler that can have the last cookie. That same man could have just been giving out compliments prior, but as soon as he feels rejected, he goes into retaliation mode. These same men will accuse large women of having insecurity issues simply because they are declining any advances. Large women and men have feelings like anyone of any other size and should be treated with dignity. A large woman does not have to sleep with a random man regardless of how nice he plays, how much money he has, or how good he believes he look. All women have the right to decline any man, no matter what she looks like, her income status, or her education level. A person is allowed to pick who they see fit as a spouse to be their mate. Even if they have to wait years, they are adults and can choose whatever kind of mate they want. Even if their standards seem unrealistic, they still have every right to have standards. This includes large people. Large women are not the welcome wagon for any lonely/horny man that thinks a fat woman is easy access for sex. No woman should be viewed as such. I really hope large, plus size, overweight, obese, chubby, chunky, plumper women (however you choose to describe your beautiful plus size body) should not feel obligated to entertain any man because she is overweight.

Why Serial Daters and Players get played by smart experienced women

 Many men are constantly on the hunt for new women to conquer as prey. Usually for sex, to use as a trophy piece or to impress friend/colleagues. Many would consider these men players, womanizers, or serial daters. These types of men see women as objects to be used and disposed. They see women as objects and not humans with emotions, feelings. and personal needs. They see women as objects to be used for sex, to fulfill a mental void,  or for momentarily ego stroking. 

With men being so open online all over social media about how they view women, women have gotten the memo. We have gotten the memo and have learned how to play the same dating games that men play. Not because we are in a competition with men, but because we refuse to be on the short end of the stick when it comes to dating. We are no longer falling for the "I'm going through a messy divorce" or "I'd rather just come hang out at your house" or "I'm just looking to meet new people, but nothin serious". Smart women do not fall victim to love bombing, gas lighting, and narcissistic men that are only out for ego stroking and doses of romance to get them through their loneliness.  Yes, smart women have made mistakes in dating and even got their hopes up to high with the wrong men, however smart women have learned how to watch for red flags. These red flags can be anger issues, narcissist personality traits, and men that look to demean women and use us as sex objects. Smart women know how to enjoy the first few dates, have fun, live in the moment, then move on. Women are no longer being tricked and manipulated into situationships that have no meaning. These situationships are usually a man treating a woman to a few dates, sending "good morning beautiful texts", then pressuring her for casual sex but no real friendship, commitment or plans for a future. These types of serial daters feel as if women are obligated to sleep with them because they have shown a small amount of interest. Men will lie while trying to use the gift of gab to corner a woman into his bedroom. They usually use love bombing, money, or intimidation to lure women into their web. By intimidation, they may tell a woman she must have low self esteem if she is not interested in sex. Or they will tell a woman that men have more opportunities in the dating world to make a woman feel like she has no other alternatives to find a mate. 

Smart women with experience know how to maneuver through love bombing serial daters. Smart women only date for causal intimacy, dinners, company, and social engagement. Smart women know how to get more out of the situationship without getting used or hurt. Women have learned from past experiences and now navigate through the messy dating world much differently in their mid life than they did in their 20's and 30's.  Unless a woman is looking to marry soon, she should be more focused on her career, education, having fun, bonding with close friends, traveling, and exploring new hobbies. If a guy is only out for self pleasure while dated, he should be ghosted immediately. Losing sleep and having emotional setbacks because some womanizing serial dater wants to find a new toy is so outdated.