The Advice I wish was Given to Me in My Young Adult Life

There are many things that I wish someone would have told me when I was growing up especially in my young adulthood. I probably would have not taken all the advice, because we as younger people sometimes wanna make mistakes on our own. Our egos can be so fragile that we will not allow anyone to offer guidance or advice until it's too late. Many of us were manipulated by men that were not good for us, or spent to much time at dead end jobs that only made us tired and over stressed.

Advice to my younger sisters:

1.Love yourself first. You must take pride in yourself and let others see that you value yourself. Especially those of the opposite sex. Showing that you value your body, and your safety will force men to treat you with respect. A man should know that you value yourself and your are not just a toy to be played with.


2.Stop chasing love and romance. Love will find you when the time is right. You cannot force a relationship with someone and you cannot make a person love you. The right man will love you and want to be in your company. No need to appear to look desperate. Men can smell desperation and they will use it against you.

3.Be very careful about the friends that you keep. Many friends are not really friends .They are there to use you, abuse you, and demean you. Everyone that plays nice and smile in your face is a real friend. Many people will try to befriend you just to compete with your or to keep you close so they can use you under the disguise that "they got your back"


4.Stop wasting valuable time. Work on things that will improve your life. College, hobbies, classes and time alone for your own mental health. For example, if you work a full time job and have children, you may not have a lot of time. You have to be very particular about who you give your valuable time with. Improve your life for you, whether it's starting a business, learning a skill, or finishing college to obtain a better career.

The Miseducation of the Strong Black Woman

The "Strong Black Woman" slogan or phrase offends sensitive people to the extreme.  The term "Strong Black Woman" has so many men pretending to be offended by the term. The truth is, I rarely hear women refer to themselves as strong. To be precise, I've only heard a black woman refer to herself as a "Strong Black Woman" on a few occasions.

Men don't want a strong black woman, That want a soft submissive woman that will agree with everything they want, grant their wishes and submit to them hand and foot. When a woman says she is a strong black woman, she is not saying that she is combative, argumentative, or always ready to physically fight. Being strong is about overcoming your past, your pain, and whatever obstacles where thrown in your way. Being a strong woman is fighting battles with no fears and moving past broken hearts, set backs and past failures. For example, a person will call themselves strong because they were able to beat a drug addiction, or they were able to find housing and work after being homeless and jobless for many years. No woman or man is wrong for patting themselves on the back for overcoming past hardships.

So why is it offensive when a black woman wears the tittle of being strong? Why can't a woman have inner strength? Why is strength within a black woman a bad thing? Women give birth, nurture children, take care of families, yet we are not allowed to be strong. We are expected to be strong, but we cannot wear the tittle. That is like a good husband taking care of home, feeding the family, and paying all the bills, but can't say he is the provider for the household. That is the issue with black women saying it. We can be strong, but we can't tell anybody. Sssshhh!!!