Black Women supporting Men in Prison (part 2)

Black women in our black families will continue to support for black men in prison regardless of why they are locked up. I've spoken to men personally that spent years in jail, and sadly some will admit that they got the most support while in prison. Momma sending her boys money and packages to make sure they are comfortable behind the walls. I spoke to an old classmate 3 years ago that told me, "the only time I get help is when I'm locked up".

This happens in many black families. Grandmothers neglecting bills in order to send money to her grandson or mothers stretching out money to make sure her precious son in the County jail doesn't have to struggle. Prison is suppose to be uncomfortable, it's suppose to be punishment for crimes. Nobody should get comfortable in prison, but so many black women will ensure they inmate lovers or inmate sons are comfortable There are men living better in jail, then they do outside of jail because the black family spoils men in prison. There are grown men sitting in jail waiting for packages and money so they can eat good and have name brand toiletries.

This is not a good example for our next generation. Children will grow up and believe that life is not so bad behind bars because they saw men in prison receive so much help. When my brother went to prison (over 20 years ago,) he was treated like royalty. Everyone in my family felt sorry for him. They treated him like a victim and made excuses as to why he was arrested. Family members that had never offered any help before, wanted to get his prison address to send him letters and money. After doing a year, he came home and explained that prison wasn't so bad because he had everything he needed while locked up. He was only 17 when he was locked up and bragged about all the money he received and all the letters and cards he received. This is an example of how black women take care of men while locked out.

Women supporting Men in Prison (Part 1)

This is a topic that really affected me growing up as a young woman. I've seen this scenario growing up within my own family. Grown black women supporting and loving men in prison. I'm not just talking about supporting a boyfriend or a husband. I'm also talking about mothers, aunts, and grandmothers supporting men in the family. You know, the nephew that stole a car or the grandson that refuse to snitch on his gang associates. These women were constantly sending money, packages, and showing up on visiting day with a purse filled with quarters to buy goodies out of the jailhouse vending machines.

I witnessed women would take out loans or pawn jewelry to feed and care for grown men in prison. It didn't matter if they were in jail for something minor like shoplifting, or a murder.  Some of these women met these men in prison as pen pals, and later became their financial support system. I've actually witnessed this in my own family with my own relatives and other women they met on prison trips. Grown women spending their light bill and grocery money on a rental car or a greyhound ticket to go see an inmate. It was sad seeing grown women who were proud to have an inmate lover. These women would often brag and cheer about sending the most quality underwear and snacks in boxed up packages for their criminal husbands. Some would even brag about how their men only would eat a certain brand of crackers or cookies. It was sad that these beautiful black women fell deep in love with a murderer or a bank robber that was going to spend the next 20 years trapped in a cage. What was also hard to watch, was the pride these
women had. Some were educated women with nice homes, and great careers, yet they fell deep in love with an incarcerated spouse.

Watching these black women neglect themselves and their children for love was heartbreaking. They were willing to take from their own households to make sure their inmate lovers supported. Children went without school clothes, school supplies, or recreational activities because the jailhouse lover became priority to momma. Also, the continuous collect calls that sometimes resulted in house phones being disconnected. I recall very well, women pawning jewelry and electronics to pay a $400 phone bill. Or women driving for 4 hours or more every week until their car couldn't drive any further. Grown men sat in prison running up phone bills, begging for packages, and anxiously waiting for money to be put on their commissary. The women showed no shame. They took care of the grown criminals as if they were precious delicate babies. They did it with love and devotion. Even if it meant they had to suffer along with their children.