Childless women need to stop invading Discussions for mothers

Too many parenting discussions have been invaded by childless women making derogatory comments and meddling in our safe space. Mothers should have a safe space to talk about problems and issues as well as give and get advice from other mothers. 

Facebook, blogs, and twitter have had many discussions about the issues that surround parenting. Everything is discussed from child support, child care, postpartum depression, to co-parenting with an ex. In many groups, we always have a handful of childless women chime in to brag about how they were super responsible with birth control, or how they refuse to have children until they are in the perfect situation. Child less women will come bragging about how they are able to travel, get 5 degrees, and how they have so much free time to relax because they don't have children.
I have no problems or hate towards women that choose not to have children. I actually commend them for waiting and doing what's best for themselves. My issue is childless women that love to come into groups for mothers, or getting into discussions and ridicule and shame mothers. Or brag about how they got an abortion because they are so much more responsible.

Recently, there was a mother on a popular blog sharing her story of how she had regrets about becoming a mother. She was open and honest about how she felt. She was obviously tired and overwhelmed. Many mothers have had regrets about becoming a mother, for whatever reasons. We as mothers should be able to share our feelings and express ourselves without having childless women bust in our safe space and ridicule us or boast about how they are doing so much better.
There have also been childless women making jokes about single mothers and expressing how they hate children. Yes, HATE!  If you are not a mother and don't plan on having children, why come into a discussion for mothers and make the discussion about YOU? Mothers, should be able to vent and share information with other mothers. We all have issues, regrets, and problems with parenting, even if we are married and have a strong support system. Most mothers go through trials that make us wonder if we should have become a mother. Mothers usually get over this as their children get older and they find peace as a mother. This is natural and we should be able to express ourselves in peace, without childless women coming to police us or point fingers at us. We go through enough that childless women would never imagine or understand.

If you chose to not have children or abort, or put your child up for adoption, feel free to do so.I applaud women for not having children. It's your right, it's your choice. No shame from me, but also respect mothers and allow them to vent. It reminds me of light skin women that invade safe spaces for darker women. Or slim women that cry out for attention when large women are venting.
If you want to brag about being a childless woman, go brag and boast with other childless women. Do not come into a parent group or a discussion for mothers. Many childless women are not even bragging, they are venting and meddling. It's almost like a hobby for childless women to pop into a discussion for mothers to whine about something or brag about how their birth control never failed them. We respect your decision to not become a parent, so please respect our safe space and allow us to have discussions in peace.

Why is Statatorial Rape still being accepted (Part 2)

Teen mothers usually become single mothers. The single mothers that everybody like to shame were actually victims of statutory rape. These young single mothers were victims to grown men. It's easy to call these young teen moms whores, THOTs, sluts, fast or whatever. The truth is, a lot of young underage girls fall prey to grown men. Most teenage mothers don't get pregnant by boys their own age, they usually get pregnant by grown men. This happens so frequently that the girls are usually blamed and people assume that the teen girl seduced the grown man. Too many grown men have gotten away with a crime, leaving a teen a lifetime of responsibility. Men don't like to address this. It's always been convenient to just call the girls fast or blame them for not being watched by their parents.

You were not born to Suffer

Women were taught that struggling and overcoming hardships make us stronger. Or what don't kill you will make you stronger. We as women were taught to work hard, suffer and never take breaks or complain. We were taught that struggling and hardships made us tougher. NOPE! Struggling make us weak, age fast, cause depression and mental health problems that go unresolved. Struggling and being overworked will kill you and keep you depressed. We were not put here to over work ourselves and suffer silently. Stop believing that you were born to suffer, be miserable and never take days off. Women deserve to be happy, have days off, go shopping, have fun, travel and be free. Stop believing that there is a payoff for going through pain and suffering.

Child Abuse Prevention and why are so Many Abusers Walking Free

This weekend I watched an episode of Iyanla Fix my Life. It was an episode that revealed a young woman that was molested by her Grandfather. The victim told her mother about the abuse, but it was covered up. The abused victim was told as a child, to never reveal what the grandfather had done. The grandfather was able to abuse the young woman and never serve jail time. This is sickening and disturbing. What is more disturbing, is that this story happens very often. Some victims never tell because they live in a paralyzing fear. They fear the victim. If the victim is a child, they will continue to take the abuse because they don't want to challenge an adult.

A child being abused is usually threatened. The abuser will usually tell the child that they will kill the family if the secret is exposed. Children sometimes don't know that the abuse is wrong, because the abuser will convince the child, that the sexual acts or okay. Or the abuser will bribe the child with gifts or money in order to keep the secret and have access to the innocent child.

So many family members have covered up the abuse. Sometimes a mother will not believe the stepfather because the stepfather is the breadwinner and she is afraid to be without the Stepfather. Although the stepfather is abusing the child, the mother may shut it out of her reality. The mother will block out reality and convince her child that the abuse didn't happen. Or the child is sexually abused by an uncle or an older brother and the mom doesn't want the abuser to spend time in prison. As a result, the child is left with permanent scars and years of rumination on the incident The child is left with many years of mental suffering, and may never get the tools that he/she needs to cope. This is traumatizing and the emotional scaring may never be repaired. So many victims not only live in fear for themselves, but they grow and live in fear of the same thing happening to their children. If more families would protect children and stop living by this code of protecting abusers, these abusers would stop harming children. I wish I could see more child abusers on the news getting a life sentence in prison or the death penalty to send out the message, that your life will be ruined if your sexually abuse a child.

Low Standards For Single Black Mothers

Why do men assume that Black Single mothers should lower their standards?
Men assume that black single mothers are desperate for love, attention and a warm body in their bed. Far too many men, make the assumption that single mothers should be grateful for what ever left over scraps they can get from a man. Oh, NO! This is so not true. Single mothers should have the highest standards and accept nothin but a quality man that is stable. Not just financially stable, but mentally stable as well. Single mothers can not give these men the benefit of the doubt or wait for a grown man to get his life together. Single mothers should aim for the man that is stable, healthy, and mature. Most women got into poor relationships, because we were taught to give a man the benefit of the doubt. We were taught to love a man despite his looks, career, or financial situation. That way of thinking got us in a lot of emotional trouble.