Is the polyamorous community based in misogyny?

 

I have come across so many different podcast and reels talking about polyamory and how it is the answer to cheating and holding marriages together. Some women have agreed to indulge in the lifestyle because they are bisexual and want the best of both worlds. Polyamory is a form of ethical or consensual non-monogamy. It involves maintaining committed, intimate, and romantic relationships with more than one person at a time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

 Some people just need variety and have a desire to love more than one person while getting their sexual needs fulfilled by multiple people. Does this benefit everyone involved? Couples have different agendas, rules, and goals for their open relationship. Some date as a V which means that everything is usually separate. Some date as a triangle and everyone involved in connect and have a relationship with each other even if the women only have a platonic relationship.

What does this really mean for women? Women are usually expected to commit and be faithful to the man in these polyamorous relationships, while men are able to explore with new partners and pick whom he want for dates, trips, and nightcaps. Should women commit and to a man that wants to exercise his options while rubbing it all in his partners face? Some view poly relationships as supervised cheating. A woman knows her man will cheat so she wants to screen the other women or take a peak into the other woman's life and give input on how he should entertain the other woman. All of this is rooted in misogyny.  Its sad that some of these men are purposely setting up these arrangements to make a woman feel inferior or like she is in competition with other women to win a man in return. 

The big question is do these women really want to participate in these relationships that allows the man to have additional women and every woman accepts their role? Is this the only way a woman will have a man in her life? Are women in these relationships allowed to have another man friend or sexual partners of the opposite sex? If not, is are these really open relationships or a cheat code for men to entertain other women in peace? These are questions that women need to answer for themselves before they join a couple or allow another person into their relationship.

After watching a podcast on YouTube with a group of women and men having a discussion, the women felt like the men were misogynistic and using the Polyamorous label to be serial daters and sleep with multiple women while disguising their behavior as being open and honest instead of lying. This is not how an open relationship should work. These relationships still come with responsibilities and all parties involved she be honest. Men have are using polyamourous relationships to bring in multiple partners and the real goal is sex.Just like a man going out the cheat is doing it as an escape outlet and the goal is usually sex. This is all rooted in misogyny where the women have to remain modest while a man can play women against each other and disguise it as being in an open relationship. If the relationship is really open, why is the woman expected to commit and not have another man. Why is the woman expected to commit and not sleep with anyone else. Usually women are allowed to sleep with other women and it is usually for the pleasure of the man. 

Is there ever a good time to go through your man's phone

Have you ever had a gut feeling that something was wrong in your relationship? Maybe you thought your man was hiding something or sneaking with someone at his job? Perhaps you noticed him being very secretive with his phone. If you ever had these thoughts, you probably have tried to find secrets in his phone.

Some might say that going through your spouse's phone without his permission is searching for pain. Or, you are looking for something to be wrong and will more than likely misinterpret any information the wrong way. You may see some business text messages between him and his lady co-worker and misinterpret the messages as flirting. That is the downfall of sneaking through a phone. In many cases, if you have to go through a phone means you lack trust. Maybe you've caught him cheating in the past and going through his phone is the quicker way to find out if he's cheating again. Or maybe you think your man is hiding some personal issues like a drug or a gambling habit. Sometimes a woman will go through her partner's phone because she suspect substance abuse or other personal problems. It may not be an infidelity issue. Maybe he's lying about his children, job or finances. You can't always expect a man to tell you everything, especially when you first meet. A man will present himself as "Mr Perfect" with no flaws. Some women take it upon themselves to serve for clues and answers. Maybe your spouse has become distant and you want to see if he's spending time on dating apps or texting another person.

Is there ever really a good time to go through a person's phone? This is a difficult question because you never know what you will do when your are desperate for answers. I would say that if you think your relationship is on it's last legs and have lost hope, why not? Or if you think you are in danger and your spouse is keeping secrets, you may find the info in his phone. Also, if a man has nothing to hide and he's honest, then there is nothing in his phone that can cause harm.

I personally have never went through a man's phone, I have checked pockets and wallets before. Not proud of being a snooper, but I needed precise information....unfortunately I didn't find anything good or bad. So I kept wondering and asking questions. Eventually I was drained and didn't think the relationship was worth holding on to. So we split.