Large plus size women should never lower their standards to get a date or long term spouse

                         

I would advise any plus size woman not to lower her standards to attract a spouse or get a date. Men are speaking out negatively against plus size women and telling plus size women to stop being picky and get whatever man they can get or they will end up lonely without a companion. Women are being shamed into dating a man not on her financial or education level.  If she does not want to date a low wage worker or a man with a criminal record, that is her choice and she should not be shamed because of her weight. It is not easy to land a spouse at any size, so why are plus size women being told to lower stands and accept any man regardless of them not being compatible. 

The people that are encouraging overweight women to settle for a man with no resources are usually people that suffer from fat phobia and think large women are beneath them. These are the type of people that think larger people (especially women) are less than human and should be treated as an underclass. I recently read a post on a social media site where a woman stated that fat women are likely to be mistreated by men because fat women suffer from low self esteem and accept any type of treatment. This comment was made due to fat phobia and people believing that large women hate themselves and accept any type of treatment. These types of people believe they are better than large women and that large women should be mistreated. This poster never said that men are wrong for mistreating large women, but her post was basically saying that men are entitled to treat women poorly based on size. This is why I often tell plus size women to be very selective and cautious about who they date because some men actually believe overweight women are beneath them and should be treated like a second class citizen. They believe in using larger women for sex and other perks while not being seen with her in public due to their fat phobia.

Women with low self esteem are not limited to overweight women. Self esteem is not only about your outside looks or weight. Self esteem is developed by how you view yourself as a whole. A woman can build her self esteem by accomplishing goals, having a supportive family, having an education, owning a business, taking care of her mental health ect. I can go on and on about self esteem, but I must say that self esteem is not all about what a person looks like. I believe people that suffer from fat phobia have a weird obsession with overweight women and want overweight people to have low self esteem so it will fit their narrative that overweight people are beneath them.

Thin women, can have low self esteem, but that does not mean they should be treated less than. Women that look like fashion models, instagram models, or regular average women can have low self esteem. My point is no human should be treated in a demeaning manner based on their looks, disabilities, or social class. I have seen too many disrespectful posts about plus size women coming from men and women. Referring to large women as Big Shirley, linebackers, and other degrading names have allowed people that suffer from fat phobia to bond together and use large women as a verbal punching bag. Why? I'll tell you why. These people are similar to children in elementary school that performed low and made terrible grades, so they tried to make a mockery of the children that were excelling in classes by calling them nerds or teachers pet. They feel good when they are degrading someone because they see larger people as less than them and easy targets. Many have been taught it is okay to laugh and mock plus size people. These are people that are lacking in areas of their life, but instead of fixing their own problems and insecurities they use their fat phobic jokes and name calling as a coping method. 

I have seen posts of thin people speaking on how large women should feel about themselves or how they view themselves. How can a person that does not live in a large body tell large people how they are supposed to feel about themselves? Large women that feel bad about their appearance, usually feel that way because of discrimination, being mocked by fat phobic people and images put in the media to ridicule plus size people.

Encouraging women to date men out of desperation is dangerous because that is a set up for failure as well as mental abuse. If a man does not want to date a woman because of her size, that is fine, however the mocking, bodyhaming, using large women as a verbal punching bag is never ok.

Men using body shaming tactics to demean plus size women after rejection

 Recently, while browsing social media, I read a post from a random guy that made a mockery of a  woman's weight. The random  man made a post about large women being too picky in mates when their options are so limited. He body shammed the woman because she wasn't interested in him after a few dates. She declined him intimacy. He ridiculed the woman because of her weight, but actually he was ridiculing her because she didn't entertain his sexual advances. He was making fun of her, not only because she was an overweight woman, but because he felt like she was obligated to entertain his sexual advances. 

Any woman or man regardless of size or body type should not feel obligated to sleep with anyone or entertain anyone because they are obese. I have witnessed several men make disgusting comments about overweight women because the woman didn't give them her number or entertain any type of intimate advances. Usually when a man is rejected,  his ego is deflated and he is embarrassed. The next thing to do is salvage his ego by retaliating on the woman by demeaning her for whatever he sees as a flaw. For overweight women, the flaw they see is weight, but this is after they've been rejected. While the guy is flirting and trying to court the woman, he may say things such as "You are so beautiful" or "I love plus size women" "I only date large women" or my favorite line "All of my exes were big". These are usually gift of gab pick up lines to make the woman feel that he genuinely admires large women.

This is actually pretty common with men everyday and on social media. If they cannot get any attention in the direct messages, these men will resort to name calling and body shamming. This is usually what a man with low self esteem and narcissistic personality traits has to do when he feels rejected. He has to immediately retaliate with childish name calling like a bratty toddler that can have the last cookie. That same man could have just been giving out compliments prior, but as soon as he feels rejected, he goes into retaliation mode. These same men will accuse large women of having insecurity issues simply because they are declining any advances. Large women and men have feelings like anyone of any other size and should be treated with dignity. A large woman does not have to sleep with a random man regardless of how nice he plays, how much money he has, or how good he believes he look. All women have the right to decline any man, no matter what she looks like, her income status, or her education level. A person is allowed to pick who they see fit as a spouse to be their mate. Even if they have to wait years, they are adults and can choose whatever kind of mate they want. Even if their standards seem unrealistic, they still have every right to have standards. This includes large people. Large women are not the welcome wagon for any lonely/horny man that thinks a fat woman is easy access for sex. No woman should be viewed as such. I really hope large, plus size, overweight, obese, chubby, chunky, plumper women (however you choose to describe your beautiful plus size body) should not feel obligated to entertain any man because she is overweight.

Plus Size Discrimination and Body Shamming (Part 1)

Plus size Discrimination and body shamming is not something that only happens on social media or with celebrities. Many people do not understand or care to point out body shamming if it is not happening to them. Although skinny/slim people have had complaints about being teased in elementary school for being skinny or being called Slim Jim; I am not talking about those issues. Im upset about large women not getting hired because the company fears that a large woman will intimidate clients or bring down the company image. I am upset with public places not accommodating larger people. Im upset when large people, including children are cyber bullied online and in school.

When a large person is sick or have any issues with their health, the problem is usually blamed on their weight. I've been to the doctor for flu symptoms or a pap smear and and more attention was put on my weight. I've know large women that went to the doctor for back pain from a car accident, or a slip and fall and the doctor grilled them about their weight, but didn't really show compassion to the original reason they were there.

I have seen women post a beautiful picture to show off a new dress or a new hair style, and people will make derogatory comments about the woman's weight. They would pretend they were concerned with her health, as if slim people don't have any health concerns. That is another pet-peeve of mine, people pretending to be so appalled when a larger person post pictures and they try to disguise their fat phobia by saying they are concerned with the person's health.
I would rather a person just say "Im not use to seeing a big woman get that much positive attention and it bothers me" or "She's very big, I wish I was as confident as she is". I get tired of the fake outrage. The fake outrage is other people being so upset and pretending to be so offended when a beautiful large woman post a sexy picture. Or a larger woman posting a beautiful dress or showing herself out having fun. Oh, let's not forget when a large woman post herself with a spouse, and people question why the man is with the large woman. I could go on and on.

Fat shamming should not be accepted

In recent news online, there have been a frenzy about rapper Future turning down a plus size model from entering a club. Apparently, he didn't want any large women in the club that he was in. Whether he was performing at the club or the owner of the club, nobody should be turned away from a club because of their size. It is not illegal or a sin to be a larger person.
This type of discrimination is still acceptable and people are down playing the discrimination by saying it's just a preference. He doesn't have to date large/plus size women, marry a large woman, or even have plus size friends. But what he cannot do, is stop plus size people from entering public places. Different people have different views and are also using this as an opportunity shame overweight people. People have made derogatory memes and made fat shaming comments on Twitter/Fb and other social media platforms.