So many people are triggered after watching Surviving R.Kelly

Surviving R. Kelly was very sad, sickening, and painful to watch for most viewers. For some, the show was just highlighting the wrong doings of a Musical Superstar. For many, the show Surviving R. Kelly brought back painful memories of childhood trauma and neglect. Surviving R. Kelly is a trending topic that really got people speaking out, debating, and pointing fingers. Some people want to blame the parents, the music industry, while some blame the underage girls for putting themselves in the presence of a predator. I blame the abuser. I blame any adult that abuses underage children and take advantage of anyone sexually. Not only is R. Kelly being accused of being a pedophile, he is accused of being violent and mentally abusive to women. For years allegations have been whispered, but because R. Kelly has put out some chart topping music, people have let his talent outshine everything, and have giving him the benefit of the doubt.

This is very triggering for victims. This is a reminder that child abusers are currently walking free and often are never punished. Many child molesters and woman abusers are not brought up on chargers because they intimidate their victims. Many victims have to walk with the guilt, shame, and trauma after being sexually abused. R. Kelly has used his status to dominate women and break them down spiritually and mentally. This happens so much in our communities and families. Uncles, Grandfathers, stepdads and other relatives sexually abuse children in the family and they get away with it. Sometimes because the child is too afraid to speak out, or because the family doesn't want the pubic to know that they had a child molester in the home. For example, a mother may cover up sexual abuse in her household because she doesn't want Child protective services and other social services in her business. She may not want Law Enforcement investigating her household. These are just a few reasons why abusers get away with abuse on children.

These children have to walk through life with permanent mental scars and traumatic memories that will continue to resurface. Social media has been fueled with triggered people that are still recovering from child abuse, sexual abuse, and other forms of mental abuse. Some people will never recover and don't know how to deal with the mental scars. Some people have blocked out years of abuse, but were triggered while watching the 6 hour series of Surviving R. Kelly. The triggering brings back painful memories.

Statutory Rape Cases, and why are we overlooking it(Part 1)

Statutory Rape is a subject that is often shoved under the rug in many communities. Young girls that are having sex with grown men and making babies. I've this happen throughout my childhood. I witnessed grown men laying down with teenagers and it seemed so normal. A 25 year old man with a 16 year old high school girl seemed so normal. A 22 year old man with a 15 year old girl was a common couple. It was very rare that people showed concern for teen girls having relationships with grown men. Girls knew how to hide these illegal relationships from their parents. Most parents (usually single mothers) are too busy working to notice their daughters are having relationships with grown men. Men see younger women as vulnerable and easy to mislead. A young girl that is seeking love and attention is easy prey for a grown man that is in a predator mode. A man that preys on underage girls is a predator. Even if the girl is built like a woman, dresses like a grown woman, and has older friends........She is still a child and has the mind of a child. Most teens don't realize they still think like children. Teens girls want to be grown so bad and feel independent, they don't realize they are easy prey to predator men. Predators have been getting away with sexually abusing teens because the teens are willing to be abused. Teenage girls don't know they are being abused. That's why these men that seek out teenage girls don't get charged in court. Nobody comes forward and bring these men to justice.

When I was in high school, grown men would hang around high schools and walk the malls when they knew high school girls would be present. Predators would hang around places that attracted teens and would flirt, and ask for phone numbers. Even if the girls were teens, this would motivate the men because they knew these girls were very easy to manipulate and looking for compliments and attention. These type of predators don't get addressed and will continue to sleep with teens. These sick dirty predators will continue to attend high school foot ball games and parks to seek out young vulnerable girls.

Men that complain about paying child support

What's makes a deadbeat parent complain about paying child support? Well, most deadbeats don't want anyone giving them responsibility, that's why they avoid their children in the first place. A deadbeat parent will pay rent, buy clothing, eat, and put gas in their car to travel. Not all deadbeat dads are broke/poor.  That is a myth. They just don't feel like they have an obligation to their children. Many dead beat parents don't feel as if they should help the child/children once they split from the mom. Deadbeats complain about child support but fail to see that their children need financial support. Babies need diapers and milk. Growing toddlers need clothing and food. Growing teens have needs that require money. Let's not mention the custodial parent has to pay rent, car notes, insurance, and other necessities. The dead beat parent doesn't care about the needs of the child, they feel like the custodial parent should suffer. This is like punishing the child because the relationship didn't work. The actual factual is that the child cannot survive on air and water. A child needs financial support. It's no way around it. There are so many people on social media that complain about paying child support and comparing it to slavery. I've seen bitter women upset because their boyfriend is obligated to pay child support. There are women that feel like child support is a bitter baby momma's revenge. The truth is that whether the baby momma is bitter, angry or frustrated, the child is still entitled to eat and have support. It's not about bitterness, or two parents not getting along. Put your pride aside, put your selfishness aside and support your children. If the absent parent is the mother, then she should be obligated to pay support.

Child Abuse Prevention and why are so Many Abusers Walking Free

This weekend I watched an episode of Iyanla Fix my Life. It was an episode that revealed a young woman that was molested by her Grandfather. The victim told her mother about the abuse, but it was covered up. The abused victim was told as a child, to never reveal what the grandfather had done. The grandfather was able to abuse the young woman and never serve jail time. This is sickening and disturbing. What is more disturbing, is that this story happens very often. Some victims never tell because they live in a paralyzing fear. They fear the victim. If the victim is a child, they will continue to take the abuse because they don't want to challenge an adult.

A child being abused is usually threatened. The abuser will usually tell the child that they will kill the family if the secret is exposed. Children sometimes don't know that the abuse is wrong, because the abuser will convince the child, that the sexual acts or okay. Or the abuser will bribe the child with gifts or money in order to keep the secret and have access to the innocent child.

So many family members have covered up the abuse. Sometimes a mother will not believe the stepfather because the stepfather is the breadwinner and she is afraid to be without the Stepfather. Although the stepfather is abusing the child, the mother may shut it out of her reality. The mother will block out reality and convince her child that the abuse didn't happen. Or the child is sexually abused by an uncle or an older brother and the mom doesn't want the abuser to spend time in prison. As a result, the child is left with permanent scars and years of rumination on the incident The child is left with many years of mental suffering, and may never get the tools that he/she needs to cope. This is traumatizing and the emotional scaring may never be repaired. So many victims not only live in fear for themselves, but they grow and live in fear of the same thing happening to their children. If more families would protect children and stop living by this code of protecting abusers, these abusers would stop harming children. I wish I could see more child abusers on the news getting a life sentence in prison or the death penalty to send out the message, that your life will be ruined if your sexually abuse a child.