Men really love, need, and admire Strong Black Women

The "Strong Black Woman" phrase has often been associated with violent, loud, ghetto, rude, or masculine Black Women. People have taken the phrase "Strong Black Woman" and have coined it into something to be ashamed of. Men claim they resent "Strong Black Women" because of the negative traits that come with "Strong Black Women".

The same men that despise "Strong Black Women" really admire our strength and wish to have one in their life. Men want a strong, sane, financially independent woman.

Depending on which day of the week it is, men in the Black Community are complaining about women not submitting, then complaining about a woman should be going 50/50 on bills and rent Men need a "Strong Black Woman" to step in when he lose his job. When a man is sick, he need a strong woman to take care of him and see that his needs are taken care of. When the family is suffering financially, a man need his woman to stand up and be strong. Maybe even hold down the house until finances are back in order. Men act like they have this obsession with women submitting to them and their needs. The truth is, a submissive wife is a wife that needs to be taken care of. Mostly financially. So, all this crap about we hate "Strong Black Women", or "Strong Black Women" are dominate, overbearing and they emasculate their men, is just some rhetoric that men came up with to shame women and play victims. The truth is, Black Women were forced to take leading roles. We were forced to step in when fathers, brothers, and uncles went to prison, died, or abandoned the family. Black women were forced to stand up and take care of every member in some households. We all know a grandmother that took on more work and died early due to being forced into a strong position for the family. That took strength, commitment and work. It took a "Strong Black Woman"

The Advice I wish was Given to Me in My Young Adult Life

There are many things that I wish someone would have told me when I was growing up especially in my young adulthood. I probably would have not taken all the advice, because we as younger people sometimes wanna make mistakes on our own. Our egos can be so fragile that we will not allow anyone to offer guidance or advice until it's too late. Many of us were manipulated by men that were not good for us, or spent to much time at dead end jobs that only made us tired and over stressed.

Advice to my younger sisters:

1.Love yourself first. You must take pride in yourself and let others see that you value yourself. Especially those of the opposite sex. Showing that you value your body, and your safety will force men to treat you with respect. A man should know that you value yourself and your are not just a toy to be played with.


2.Stop chasing love and romance. Love will find you when the time is right. You cannot force a relationship with someone and you cannot make a person love you. The right man will love you and want to be in your company. No need to appear to look desperate. Men can smell desperation and they will use it against you.

3.Be very careful about the friends that you keep. Many friends are not really friends .They are there to use you, abuse you, and demean you. Everyone that plays nice and smile in your face is a real friend. Many people will try to befriend you just to compete with your or to keep you close so they can use you under the disguise that "they got your back"


4.Stop wasting valuable time. Work on things that will improve your life. College, hobbies, classes and time alone for your own mental health. For example, if you work a full time job and have children, you may not have a lot of time. You have to be very particular about who you give your valuable time with. Improve your life for you, whether it's starting a business, learning a skill, or finishing college to obtain a better career.

Men telling single mothers to chose better next time

Why do men always tell women to choose better after lying to lure them in?
Whenever a woman ends up in a bad situation with a man, she is accused of choosing a bad man. Whether the man turns out to be in debt, a deadbeat father, a cheater, or abusive, the woman is usually blamed for the behavior. Or she is simply blamed for not seeing the bad behavior beforehand.

A man will convince a woman that he is faithful, building wealth, a family man and everything else she wants to hear. He will promise her everything that she desires. Men will go through every obstacles to get a woman's undivided attention. Whether he is just looking for sex, a casual girlfriend or a trophy piece to show off. Men will tell lie after lie to convince a woman that he is a Good man. Like the comedian Chris Rock said in a comedy routine years ago, when you first meet a person you are only meeting their representative. You are not meeting the real person. You are meeting a façade. The guy is usually on his best behavior and doing everything he possibly can to please and impress. He will spend money, give compliments, even give her hope for the future. Once the woman let down her guards and allow he man in, his true colors start to show.

Everything is fake. It's all a theatrical act to get a woman to open up her heart or her legs. Then once the woman gives in, she is labeled a fool. When things go down hill the woman is blamed for being stupid or naïve. She is accused of not picking a better man. It's hard to pick a good man when a man is lying about everything and wearing a mask. I always tell women to hold back and be very cautious about whom you get close to. He may appear to be nice and sweet. He will work hard at convincing you that he is a great gentleman. He will convince you that he is a great man with great potential. Men are not going to admit they are only out to get laid and play games. They are not going to tell you that they cheat and have multiple children that they don't support. Their main objective is to convince you that they are the best man for you.

Child Abuse Prevention and why are so Many Abusers Walking Free

This weekend I watched an episode of Iyanla Fix my Life. It was an episode that revealed a young woman that was molested by her Grandfather. The victim told her mother about the abuse, but it was covered up. The abused victim was told as a child, to never reveal what the grandfather had done. The grandfather was able to abuse the young woman and never serve jail time. This is sickening and disturbing. What is more disturbing, is that this story happens very often. Some victims never tell because they live in a paralyzing fear. They fear the victim. If the victim is a child, they will continue to take the abuse because they don't want to challenge an adult.

A child being abused is usually threatened. The abuser will usually tell the child that they will kill the family if the secret is exposed. Children sometimes don't know that the abuse is wrong, because the abuser will convince the child, that the sexual acts or okay. Or the abuser will bribe the child with gifts or money in order to keep the secret and have access to the innocent child.

So many family members have covered up the abuse. Sometimes a mother will not believe the stepfather because the stepfather is the breadwinner and she is afraid to be without the Stepfather. Although the stepfather is abusing the child, the mother may shut it out of her reality. The mother will block out reality and convince her child that the abuse didn't happen. Or the child is sexually abused by an uncle or an older brother and the mom doesn't want the abuser to spend time in prison. As a result, the child is left with permanent scars and years of rumination on the incident The child is left with many years of mental suffering, and may never get the tools that he/she needs to cope. This is traumatizing and the emotional scaring may never be repaired. So many victims not only live in fear for themselves, but they grow and live in fear of the same thing happening to their children. If more families would protect children and stop living by this code of protecting abusers, these abusers would stop harming children. I wish I could see more child abusers on the news getting a life sentence in prison or the death penalty to send out the message, that your life will be ruined if your sexually abuse a child.