Generational Depression, the Saga of Pain will Continue

Many of us come from a family full of people that battled mental health problems. Whether it was depression, Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, or addictions. Many of us come from a family that suffered while self medicating and self sabotaging. We may not have known what was going on exactly, growing up among family members with mental health problems, but we knew there were some toxic people.

 Nobody spoke about seeing a counselor, going to therapy or taking psych medication. In Urban Communities, we are told to just turn it over to God and keep praying. Or, let it go and pray. These methods have not improved our lives or our communities. We are suffering and it is being passed down from generation to generation. It is a curse. If you look at many families, there is a generational curse that is being buried over and over and people are suffering. We become comfortable and absorbed in our suffering. Suffering and pain becomes a part of life and we expected. So we don't talk about it or complain about. Therefore we won't admit that we need help for our conditions. It impossible to get help, of you don't know you have a problem. Many of our families in the Black Community have a family history of depression and we don't recognize and actually see pain and suffering as a way of life. Some of us come from families that have cases of molestation, teen pregnancies, addictions and mental health problems that are going unresolved from generation to generation.

We saw individuals drinking, smoking and over eating to mask pain and depression. This was all normal to me. Growing up as a child, I just thought that people liked to drink, smoke, and engage in certain activities. I couldn't connect the dots and see that maybe they were trying to escape pain and abuse. 

 Mental health is still a taboo subject in urban communities. People are ashamed and fear being ridiculed for asking for help. Most individuals will go through their childhood and adulthood without being diagnosed because they don't want to be called crazy or sick. The truth is, the more we try to suppress our mental health problems with drugs, sex and over spending, we will never get down to the truth. We will never get to the core of the problem and dissect what is going in within us.

This pain continues be recycled down from generation to generation. If we do not seek therapy, closure, support groups, we will only pass the pain down to our children and grandchildren. We will only get worse as long as we self medicate. We must observe our children and listen to their needs. We cannot mute our children when they are going through issues at school, with their friends or their fears about the future. We cannot be afraid to put our children into counseling session or get our children grief counseling when they lose a loved one. We have to be the shelter for our children and watch for early signs of Mental Health problems and substance abuse. We cannot pretend like problems will fix themselves or just hand it over to our spiritual beliefs.

Men really love, need, and admire Strong Black Women

The "Strong Black Woman" phrase has often been associated with violent, loud, ghetto, rude, or masculine Black Women. People have taken the phrase "Strong Black Woman" and have coined it into something to be ashamed of. Men claim they resent "Strong Black Women" because of the negative traits that come with "Strong Black Women".

The same men that despise "Strong Black Women" really admire our strength and wish to have one in their life. Men want a strong, sane, financially independent woman.

Depending on which day of the week it is, men in the Black Community are complaining about women not submitting, then complaining about a woman should be going 50/50 on bills and rent Men need a "Strong Black Woman" to step in when he lose his job. When a man is sick, he need a strong woman to take care of him and see that his needs are taken care of. When the family is suffering financially, a man need his woman to stand up and be strong. Maybe even hold down the house until finances are back in order. Men act like they have this obsession with women submitting to them and their needs. The truth is, a submissive wife is a wife that needs to be taken care of. Mostly financially. So, all this crap about we hate "Strong Black Women", or "Strong Black Women" are dominate, overbearing and they emasculate their men, is just some rhetoric that men came up with to shame women and play victims. The truth is, Black Women were forced to take leading roles. We were forced to step in when fathers, brothers, and uncles went to prison, died, or abandoned the family. Black women were forced to stand up and take care of every member in some households. We all know a grandmother that took on more work and died early due to being forced into a strong position for the family. That took strength, commitment and work. It took a "Strong Black Woman"

Polygamy as a sexual Fantasy in the Black Community

Women sharing a man in the community has become acceptable amongst many for years. It is the norm for a man to entertain multiple women, with more women being comfortable with this modern day love triangle. Men are using mind manipulation and control to have their women in pairs. This is modern day polygamy. What is this you might wonder?
This is a man that has convinced two or more women that he is capable of loving them, while sharing his mind, heart, body and soul. These men can manipulate two women into believing they should share him, and in return they both get to have a man. These men are using every fear tactic possible to convince women that they should share a man. They usually tell women that they will be alone if they don't accept modern day polygamy. They also convince women that they will struggle alone if they don't share their men. Some even tell the women that if they have high self esteem and confidence, they can share a man. They brainwash women into thinking that sharing a man makes her a confident strong woman.

Women will fall for the trick. The man will always come out on top. He can have his sexual needs fulfilled by more than one woman. He receives mental support, from more than one women. He is usually the center of attention and gets to enjoy everything in variety. The man is able to manipulate these women and play them against each other at his convenience. These women are expected to give 100% while the man gives whatever he wants at the time. While he has access to more than one woman, the women are in line waiting for attention and love. The women have to wait until he is available, but she is expected to be there around the clock for her man she is sharing. It is all a sexual Fantasy and Fetish for the man in the center of this love triangle.

This is the new cheat code for cheating. Men are convincing women to become a part of a low triangle by love bombing and promises. The man is able to be the center of attention while the women fight for the attention and emotional support they received in the low bombing stage or the honeymoon stage. Eventually one woman will become tired and exhausted after fighting for a secured place in his life and feeding his ego. The other woman may feel like she is in a competition or a marathon, and the prize is an engagement ring or a role as the leading lady. This is all a game and a major ego boost for the man involved.

Polygamy in the Conscious Community a Fetish or Rebuilding Black Families (part 1)

It is no secret that the black family structure is almost non-existence. Some men and women in the "conscious community" believe that Polygamy is the only way for every woman to have a man in the home and children to have a father. Some believe that Polygamy is the only way to nation build and bring the black family together. When I say Nation Build, I mean the black community being self-sufficient and families having their own resources to live on such as land, property, and foods.
I see this living arrangement as a way for men to have more than one woman in the house and have all of his sexual desires achieved while selling innocent women a dream.

Men are telling women that bringing an extra woman into the home will bring extra income or another home maker so that the wife/gf doesn't have to do as much work. If two women are working, cleaning, taking care of children and paying bills, this makes life easier for the man. The man who is head of the household usually requires submission from the women. There are several different ways a Polygamy arrangement operates, but for the most part, the man has multiple women helping him and sleeping with him. I honestly believe that this works in 3rd world countries were the women don't own land or have access to necessities like food, water, clothing or medical care.


As far as Polygamy goes, in other countries, the man is the provider for the entire family and doesn't require the other women to have sexual encounters with him. The main goal is to be a provider and make sure that all of the children have a father in the home. Within certain groups in The United States, this has turned into a sexual fetish where the man is allowed to bring another woman into the home for threesomes and other sexual encounters. Men are convincing women that they cannot be faithful, so bringing another woman into the home will stop him from going out an whoring around. Most women know that this is just another way for a man to convince a woman to allow the side chick into the home. Now, they don't have to sneak out to get extra pussy, he can just move the extra pussy into the house under the disguise that it's to better the family. If a family is living good with this arrangement, it is not up to me to tell them to stop living in their Polygamy arrangement. But when you have the random dude making 20k a year that can barely pay a mortgage convincing his wife that they can take in another woman, something is wrong. If your finances and credit is that bad, the last thing on your mind is bringing in another family. If a man doesn't have his own resources such as wealth, land, property, and vehicles, he will only bring another woman into the home to struggle.

Did Welfare replace black fathers, or did fathers abandon their families by choice

Many people believe that the welfare system was set up to put black men out of the home so that black women would suffer and suffer in poverty. There are conscious community followers that believe black women put good black men out of the home in order to get food-stamps and cash aid from the government. My question is: Why would a woman put out a good hardworking man that she loves to suffer in poverty?

 I can't say that welfare was set up for this reason. Welfare was not started for black women. We need to stop believing these lies that the government wanted to give black women welfare so that the father/husband could be put out of the home. Many women needed welfare to survive when the husband died, abandoned the family, or when times got too hard and money was not available. There were women that lost their husband in death and had no insurance, as a result they had to sign up for welfare. There were men that chose drugs, crime or other women over their family.

The excuse for women being on welfare only makes the absent father or negligent husband look good. Now, a worthless no good man can leave his family, then tell the world that he was put out because of welfare. No woman is putting out a good hard working provider for crumbs. If your wife is willing to divorce you for some crumbs and some food stamps that come on an ebt card once a month, chances are, you were not providing. We need to stop with the excuses and face the facts and deal with the truth. Fabricating the truth will not change the facts. Many women needed welfare back then, and still today because they need help financially. I don't agree with welfare being a long term income, but there are women that would be homeless and hungry if it wasn't for welfare. Furthermore, the welfare system doesn't allow women to stay on the system forever. Women are encouraged to attend school, ready for work programs, or learn a trade There are time limits. No women or man can depend on welfare because there are time limits to how long you can receive assistant. We are not living in the 1960's. Things have changed.