Is the polyamorous community based in misogyny?

 

I have come across so many different podcast and reels talking about polyamory and how it is the answer to cheating and holding marriages together. Some women have agreed to indulge in the lifestyle because they are bisexual and want the best of both worlds. Polyamory is a form of ethical or consensual non-monogamy. It involves maintaining committed, intimate, and romantic relationships with more than one person at a time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

 Some people just need variety and have a desire to love more than one person while getting their sexual needs fulfilled by multiple people. Does this benefit everyone involved? Couples have different agendas, rules, and goals for their open relationship. Some date as a V which means that everything is usually separate. Some date as a triangle and everyone involved in connect and have a relationship with each other even if the women only have a platonic relationship.

What does this really mean for women? Women are usually expected to commit and be faithful to the man in these polyamorous relationships, while men are able to explore with new partners and pick whom he want for dates, trips, and nightcaps. Should women commit and to a man that wants to exercise his options while rubbing it all in his partners face? Some view poly relationships as supervised cheating. A woman knows her man will cheat so she wants to screen the other women or take a peak into the other woman's life and give input on how he should entertain the other woman. All of this is rooted in misogyny.  Its sad that some of these men are purposely setting up these arrangements to make a woman feel inferior or like she is in competition with other women to win a man in return. 

The big question is do these women really want to participate in these relationships that allows the man to have additional women and every woman accepts their role? Is this the only way a woman will have a man in her life? Are women in these relationships allowed to have another man friend or sexual partners of the opposite sex? If not, is are these really open relationships or a cheat code for men to entertain other women in peace? These are questions that women need to answer for themselves before they join a couple or allow another person into their relationship.

After watching a podcast on YouTube with a group of women and men having a discussion, the women felt like the men were misogynistic and using the Polyamorous label to be serial daters and sleep with multiple women while disguising their behavior as being open and honest instead of lying. This is not how an open relationship should work. These relationships still come with responsibilities and all parties involved she be honest. Men have are using polyamourous relationships to bring in multiple partners and the real goal is sex.Just like a man going out the cheat is doing it as an escape outlet and the goal is usually sex. This is all rooted in misogyny where the women have to remain modest while a man can play women against each other and disguise it as being in an open relationship. If the relationship is really open, why is the woman expected to commit and not have another man. Why is the woman expected to commit and not sleep with anyone else. Usually women are allowed to sleep with other women and it is usually for the pleasure of the man. 

Proud Sidechicks that love being a Mistress Part 1

I was recently cruising and clicking through some facebook groups and came across a post asking women what is their opinion on being a sidechick. Some women were appaulled, some where recovering sidechicks with regrets, but some were proud to have been sidechicks. There were a few women that bragged about being a sidechick and revealed all of the perks that came from being a sidechick. Usually money, not being obligated to him, and not having to do housework or cook everyday like the wife.

 I know everyone will say that a sidechick owes no loyalty to the wife, or a married man is the one that should be faithful. I understand the whole point of holding the man accountable. I blame the husband and the sidechick that is willing to spread her legs to a taken man knowing he is married, however, the married man is dead wrong. I blame him for playing with a woman's heart and playing on her vulnerability.

The problem with women that brag about being sidechicks, is that they live in an illusion that they are winning. Sidechicks convince themselves that they have the upper hand because the wife doesn't know that her man is cheating. A sidechick will think she is getting away with something because the husband is sneaking with her and not getting caught. It's all a game and a recipe for drama, pain, misery, wasted time and broken hearts.

The mistress/sidechick is not the only one at fault. Even if she knows that the man is married. I don't put all the blame on the sidechick. I totally blame the husband for being a liar and cheater. The sidechick is usually seeking love and companion. The married man uses that to manipulate her. Yes, man will always take advantage of a lonely woman that is seeking love and validation. A married man will use money, fake promises, and pity to pull a sidechick in. He may convince his mistress that he is so unloved, unappreciated in his marriage, and under marital stress. He will convince his sidechick that he is only with his wife out of obligations. Obligations such as children, financial reasons, or the marriage itself. The truth is, if a man is so miserable or so unhappy he will walk. Even if it cost him a lot, most men will not tough it out with a woman if they are miserable. Men walk away from their families everyday. This is just a man playing pity games to convince his sidechick that he would leave the wife, but..... he cant. He will convince and manipulate his sidechick into thinking that he is in love with her and the wife is the only bridge standing in the way. This is mind manipulation that women fall for. I've heard women say how much they love a married man, or talk about how hard the married man has it when he goes home. The fell for the pity and sad marital stories.

The married man doesn't love his sidechick or wife. He's only good at convincing them, that he loves them. The truth is, the man is in love with himself and using women to boost his ego and satisfy his sexual appetite. The sidechick refuse to accept that she is being used and will deny that her purpose is to fill a temporary void in a couples marriage. The sidechick will convince herself that the married man really love her and really wants to be with her. This is the effect a conniving manipulating man has on a vulnerable woman. I really hate to see sidechicks getting played, lied to, and mislead by a married man. Even if they put themselves in a position to be used, I still had to see a woman get played. The cold part is that you can't really convince a sidechick that she is just a sex object and something to keep a married man occupied until he goes home to his wife.