Childless women need to stop invading Discussions for mothers

Too many parenting discussions have been invaded by childless women making derogatory comments and meddling in our safe space. Mothers should have a safe space to talk about problems and issues as well as give and get advice from other mothers. 

Facebook, blogs, and twitter have had many discussions about the issues that surround parenting. Everything is discussed from child support, child care, postpartum depression, to co-parenting with an ex. In many groups, we always have a handful of childless women chime in to brag about how they were super responsible with birth control, or how they refuse to have children until they are in the perfect situation. Child less women will come bragging about how they are able to travel, get 5 degrees, and how they have so much free time to relax because they don't have children.
I have no problems or hate towards women that choose not to have children. I actually commend them for waiting and doing what's best for themselves. My issue is childless women that love to come into groups for mothers, or getting into discussions and ridicule and shame mothers. Or brag about how they got an abortion because they are so much more responsible.

Recently, there was a mother on a popular blog sharing her story of how she had regrets about becoming a mother. She was open and honest about how she felt. She was obviously tired and overwhelmed. Many mothers have had regrets about becoming a mother, for whatever reasons. We as mothers should be able to share our feelings and express ourselves without having childless women bust in our safe space and ridicule us or boast about how they are doing so much better.
There have also been childless women making jokes about single mothers and expressing how they hate children. Yes, HATE!  If you are not a mother and don't plan on having children, why come into a discussion for mothers and make the discussion about YOU? Mothers, should be able to vent and share information with other mothers. We all have issues, regrets, and problems with parenting, even if we are married and have a strong support system. Most mothers go through trials that make us wonder if we should have become a mother. Mothers usually get over this as their children get older and they find peace as a mother. This is natural and we should be able to express ourselves in peace, without childless women coming to police us or point fingers at us. We go through enough that childless women would never imagine or understand.

If you chose to not have children or abort, or put your child up for adoption, feel free to do so.I applaud women for not having children. It's your right, it's your choice. No shame from me, but also respect mothers and allow them to vent. It reminds me of light skin women that invade safe spaces for darker women. Or slim women that cry out for attention when large women are venting.
If you want to brag about being a childless woman, go brag and boast with other childless women. Do not come into a parent group or a discussion for mothers. Many childless women are not even bragging, they are venting and meddling. It's almost like a hobby for childless women to pop into a discussion for mothers to whine about something or brag about how their birth control never failed them. We respect your decision to not become a parent, so please respect our safe space and allow us to have discussions in peace.

Postpartum Depression Symptoms and how New mothers can recover

When a new mom is battling depression you may never see signs, or understand the battle she is going through. People assume that a mother suffering from Postpartum depression is just bitter that she has to give up her freedom for her child, or she is upset that she has stretch marks and weight gain. I've heard every misjudgment under the sun. Some even think that the new mom is jealous of the attention her new baby is getting. Society is still in the dark about Postpartum Depression. There are so many misconceptions that need to be understood.

Imagine being a new mom and having to work non stop around the clock, then go nights without much sleep. Now imagine having to console a crying baby throughout the day and sometimes in the middle of the night while you are asleep. Now imagine having to keep up with doctor's appointments, wash baby clothing, change diapers and make milk bottles. (or breastfeed or pump milk) Now, imagine still having to take care of other responsibilities such as bills, rent, finding childcare as well  taking care of your daily hygiene routine. This can be overwhelming, considering that most responsibility falls on the mother. Then add on the guilt a mother feels when she doesn't think she is meeting the needs of her newborn.

Postpartum depression is not limited to sadness, but also anxiety, irritability, appetite changes, changes in sleep patterns as well as weight gain or loss. Usually the same symptoms of regular depression.  This is not just baby blues, which is temporary. Postpartum depression is an illness that requires treatment. Many doctors call Postpartum depression a psychological disorder, which means it is treatable but has to be diagnosed. Most doctors prescribe anti depression medication, therapy, diet changes, and a support groups. My advice is for all mothers to see a doctor, find a support group, use meditation and find other activities like exercise, writing in a journal, getting massages, and having a solid support system of people. It is also a great idea to connect with other mothers for advice, support and guidance. It is best to talk to someone that has lived through Postpartum depression that has a clear understanding.

When I suffered with Postpartum, I didn't understand what it was and was never diagnosed. I was always tired, my appetite increased, and I was very irritable. I couldn't finish certain tasks and I didn't want to do any fun activities. I felt like my mind and body had aged really fast and I couldn't keep up. I guess it was because I was not getting much sleep and eating a lot of junk foods for comfort. I would start cleaning a room, but wouldn't complete it. I would wash clothes, then leave them unfolded on the couch for days. Promising myself I would clean my kitchen and refrigerator, then I would end up sleeping all day. I still had to finish school and struggle to pay bills. Months later, I heard about Postpartum while watching a talk show. This was in the late 90's. It all made sense. Then I started coming across articles in magazines and newspapers about depression. This was before the Internet was in every household. I was confused and lost back then and never could explain why.