Childless women need to stop invading Discussions for mothers

Too many parenting discussions have been invaded by childless women making derogatory comments and meddling in our safe space. Mothers should have a safe space to talk about problems and issues as well as give and get advice from other mothers. 

Facebook, blogs, and twitter have had many discussions about the issues that surround parenting. Everything is discussed from child support, child care, postpartum depression, to co-parenting with an ex. In many groups, we always have a handful of childless women chime in to brag about how they were super responsible with birth control, or how they refuse to have children until they are in the perfect situation. Child less women will come bragging about how they are able to travel, get 5 degrees, and how they have so much free time to relax because they don't have children.
I have no problems or hate towards women that choose not to have children. I actually commend them for waiting and doing what's best for themselves. My issue is childless women that love to come into groups for mothers, or getting into discussions and ridicule and shame mothers. Or brag about how they got an abortion because they are so much more responsible.

Recently, there was a mother on a popular blog sharing her story of how she had regrets about becoming a mother. She was open and honest about how she felt. She was obviously tired and overwhelmed. Many mothers have had regrets about becoming a mother, for whatever reasons. We as mothers should be able to share our feelings and express ourselves without having childless women bust in our safe space and ridicule us or boast about how they are doing so much better.
There have also been childless women making jokes about single mothers and expressing how they hate children. Yes, HATE!  If you are not a mother and don't plan on having children, why come into a discussion for mothers and make the discussion about YOU? Mothers, should be able to vent and share information with other mothers. We all have issues, regrets, and problems with parenting, even if we are married and have a strong support system. Most mothers go through trials that make us wonder if we should have become a mother. Mothers usually get over this as their children get older and they find peace as a mother. This is natural and we should be able to express ourselves in peace, without childless women coming to police us or point fingers at us. We go through enough that childless women would never imagine or understand.

If you chose to not have children or abort, or put your child up for adoption, feel free to do so.I applaud women for not having children. It's your right, it's your choice. No shame from me, but also respect mothers and allow them to vent. It reminds me of light skin women that invade safe spaces for darker women. Or slim women that cry out for attention when large women are venting.
If you want to brag about being a childless woman, go brag and boast with other childless women. Do not come into a parent group or a discussion for mothers. Many childless women are not even bragging, they are venting and meddling. It's almost like a hobby for childless women to pop into a discussion for mothers to whine about something or brag about how their birth control never failed them. We respect your decision to not become a parent, so please respect our safe space and allow us to have discussions in peace.

Single Mothers Bitter.....Or Just Fed Up with Disappointment

Single mothers are expected to endure everything while working, raising children, and holding down the house. People don't seem to care because they view single mothers as irresponsible or stupid for not picking the perfect man. Nobody goes out and chose a deadbeat on purpose. Nobody goes out and deliberately chose a man that is unworthy unless they are suffering from mental health problems. "You picked the wrong man, you had children too young, you put yourself in this situation", is a constant reminder from people that think they are in positions to discipline single mothers.

Many times, the mother never had positive examples of what a father is suppose to be. In many urban communities, the father is absent or he is in the home abusing the mother mentally and physically. Another example is a working father that comes homes and isolates himself from his family. Maybe he's too tired to engage and would rather watch sports and hide in a man cave. It's hard to understand what a man is suppose to do and how a real man is suppose to act if you haven't seen many positive examples in your childhood.

I take full responsible and hold myself accountable, but this should not be an excuse for a man to not be responsible.
We have to endure a lot of public backlash and humiliation. This is what most people do, instead of holding both parents responsibility. Like the old chant when I was a kid "boys do the dirty work, girls take the blame"

When you label a mother as bitter, especially a single mother, you must ask yourself..... Is she really bitter, or just serious and not playing games with her her life and the life of her offspring? Is she really bitter or has she learned from prior mishaps and mistakes. Is she really bitter, or is she more focused. Is she bitter, or is she holding men accountable for not being responsible men.

For parents dealing with bullying at school

Bullying is something that many children will have to deal with, whether in elementary school or during their later years. Parents must get active as soon as their children come home complaining about bullying. We as parents cannot just expect the problem to go away or expect the school to resolve issues.

Many bullies are going through things at home and use bullying to get attention and to get out their own anger and rage. Some bullies live in a household full of violence and they believe the best way to handle a problem is to fight physically. Some bullies do not physically fight, but they use intimidation methods such as threatening others and taunting. They will even encourage other children to help them intimidate a child.
Some do it because of jealousy. For example, I've heard of children getting bullied because they were straight A students and other children were envious of their success and the praise they got. Some children will bully others because they are having trouble keeping up with school work. Their way to mask their academic problems is to bully and lash out at other children.

Parents should immediately make the teachers and administrators aware that there is bullying going on in the school. Do not let the problems escalate without talking to staff members and have them document the information. Talk to the staff and let them know what your are concerned about. Come to the school and visit the classrooms and get acquainted with the other children. Arrange a parent conference and get the other parents involved. Child will continue to bully if they think they can get away with it. Do not sweep the problem under the rug. Call the school district speak with supervisors, other administrators or the superintendent. Get restraining orders if the child is causing problems outside of the school. Advocate for your child/children. Do not allow your child to be bullied while getting their education. Bullying has a negative effect on a child's mental health.

Why men pass up single mothers as dating options

I see a lot of men complaining about dating single mothers or saying they avoid dating single mothers because we are so busy. Their reasons are usually because mothers have tight schedules when they have children and can't constantly entertain men.

The issue with men is that they want to be the center of everything. Men always want to come first and want you to always be available when they call, when they want to visit, or when they want to go out. They cannot come first with single mothers and this is what men hate.

They want you to be dressed and ready when they call. They want to be able to come over and fuck at the drop of a dime. They want you to constantly answer text messages, cater to them, entertain them and put them on a pedestal. Men like to feel needed and get their ego fed with a golden spoon. This is not realistic for women that are raising children. Men will not get the attention and affection they are so desperate for. Unless the mother is desperate for penis validation, she will put her children first and invest in her offspring.

Decent women raising children, usually invest in their children instead of a male fling. Since the male ego is so fragile and delicate,men don't want to feel like they are competing, even with children. Men want the special treatment and attention that children get, Men want their sexual and mental needs met no matter who it's an inconvenience for.
So yea, this is why they avoid women with children. They know they have to compete for your time and will usually put on the back burner.

College Debt Crisis and What parents need to teach their Children

Growing up, I recall having dreams of going off to college and becoming a part of the nursing field   or becoming a social worker. Like many children, I grew up thinking that going away to college was a fail proof ride to success. I never really thought about the struggle of working while in college or the amount of debt that I could end up in with student loans. All I heard over and over is that college is the way to success and happiness. Teachers and coaches often spoke about college as if it was the ultimate goal after high school. I recall career days in high school where several colleges would come to our campus and cheer on about how great college was. They made college seem so exciting and the only way to obtain a successful career.
Now, with all the debt that Americans are in, is it really worth it to go to a four year college? Parents still push their children to attend college, even without scholarships and college funds planned ahead. Parents should invest and save for their children's college education if they want their children to attend.

I recently spoke to a young woman that attended college and took out over 80K in student loans. She is still searching for employment after receiving her BA in social work. She expressed how she was overwhelmed with debt and how peers in her age bracket didn't attend a 4 year college and are currently employed and don't have student loan debt. Although ever situation is unique, every person should investigate and research on their own before taking out loans and attending college.
Many parents don't research. They just want to send their children to college and chase a dream. There are too many things to take into consideration. Like picking a major, the cost of college, and the amount of student loan debt after attending college. Also take into consideration that junior colleges and community colleges are usually free for low income families.There are also entrepreneurship workshops, business classes at local adult schools and small trade schools. I have witnessed many parents pushing their children to college and not realizing they are encouraging student loan debt and not do any research on majors.

Parents should encourage their children to take internships, work regular jobs and attend business workshops. This experience will allow children to pick their own career and follow their own destiny.  A young adult will discover where he or she wants to be in life. This will give them knowledge, wisdom and a sense of independence. Everyone will not take the traditional path to college. High school children should be exposed to business investors, entrepreneurs, and other self employed trades. Parents are pushing their children to attend college, without allowing them to follow their own dreams.

I am not against college, I have a degree and I am working on a second one. I just want young adults to chose college on their own and not be forced into it. This leads to regrets, and resentment.

A deadbeat's Favorite Excuse for Being an Absent Dad

Women, be very cautious and suspect when a man says "I can't see my children, or "She won't let me see my kids". Or "She won't tell me were she live with my kids".

Issues like this can be resolved in court and it doesn't cost money for a man to file paperwork for visitations and joint custody.
In many cases, the mother has a restraining order on the father because of violence or vandalism of property. A judge will normally allow visitations even if the father is behind in child support or has been to prison. The judge will make arrangements for monitored visitations. Even drug addicts and men with mental health problems are allowed to see their children under monitored visitations.
These men are not telling you the full story. They are not telling you about the domestic violence, stalking, threatening text messages, and vandalizing property that led up to restraining orders. Even still they can get monitored visitations.
But it's always easy to just "She Won't Let Me" to avoid explaining that you have a history of abuse and neglect.

If a father wants to see his children, and he claims he is dealing with a difficult woman, he can always go to court. He can petition the court for visitations and joint custody. There are relationships that ended sour for whatever reasons, however a child should have both parents in their lives. It is not fair for a father to be absent. It is also unfair for a mother to isolate the children from the father for personal reasons, but if their is a history of violence, stalking, and vandalism, the mother has every right to protect herself/child/property from a violent father. From that point the parents need to deal with court system and have a mediator. 

Single Fathers VS Single Mothers

As I was browsing and clicking around on facebook, I came across a viral picture with the story of a man that was taking care of his children after his wife passed away. So many people praised and applauded the father for being a father. Many women made comments about him being a great guy, a strong male, and a stand up guy. The comments were going on and on about how this father was so great for taking care of his children. Some people even expressed sympathy for him and spoke highly of the man even though they didn't know him personally, however, I didn't see anything great.

I was not very impressed that he was being a father to his own biological children, although many people saw this single father as a hero for simply being a father. A man should be a father whether the mother is alive or not. I didn't get the hype because women take care of children alone all the time. Women get left with children everyday and become the face of welfare jokes, single momma jokes, and are shamed and slammed for taking care of the children. Single fathers get applauded and praised while single mothers are ridiculed and told to "pick better men". The bar is set so low for black fathers, which mean that a black man can do the minimum and be seen as an Icon.


All my life, I witnessed  women struggling with children while going to college, working and sometimes having to take on seasonal work just to pay the bills. Women that work hard to provide for their children are usually slammed and ridiculed. I've seen single mothers get criticized for attending working extra hours, while a single father get worshipped. Single mothers are seen as failures and carry a stigma. Could this be one of the reasons that so many mothers suffer from depression and other mental health conditions? Women are expected to work non stop, and no matter how hard we believe we are working, it's never enough. Unless your a single dad of course.

Postpartum Depression Symptoms and how New mothers can recover

When a new mom is battling depression you may never see signs, or understand the battle she is going through. People assume that a mother suffering from Postpartum depression is just bitter that she has to give up her freedom for her child, or she is upset that she has stretch marks and weight gain. I've heard every misjudgment under the sun. Some even think that the new mom is jealous of the attention her new baby is getting. Society is still in the dark about Postpartum Depression. There are so many misconceptions that need to be understood.

Imagine being a new mom and having to work non stop around the clock, then go nights without much sleep. Now imagine having to console a crying baby throughout the day and sometimes in the middle of the night while you are asleep. Now imagine having to keep up with doctor's appointments, wash baby clothing, change diapers and make milk bottles. (or breastfeed or pump milk) Now, imagine still having to take care of other responsibilities such as bills, rent, finding childcare as well  taking care of your daily hygiene routine. This can be overwhelming, considering that most responsibility falls on the mother. Then add on the guilt a mother feels when she doesn't think she is meeting the needs of her newborn.

Postpartum depression is not limited to sadness, but also anxiety, irritability, appetite changes, changes in sleep patterns as well as weight gain or loss. Usually the same symptoms of regular depression.  This is not just baby blues, which is temporary. Postpartum depression is an illness that requires treatment. Many doctors call Postpartum depression a psychological disorder, which means it is treatable but has to be diagnosed. Most doctors prescribe anti depression medication, therapy, diet changes, and a support groups. My advice is for all mothers to see a doctor, find a support group, use meditation and find other activities like exercise, writing in a journal, getting massages, and having a solid support system of people. It is also a great idea to connect with other mothers for advice, support and guidance. It is best to talk to someone that has lived through Postpartum depression that has a clear understanding.

When I suffered with Postpartum, I didn't understand what it was and was never diagnosed. I was always tired, my appetite increased, and I was very irritable. I couldn't finish certain tasks and I didn't want to do any fun activities. I felt like my mind and body had aged really fast and I couldn't keep up. I guess it was because I was not getting much sleep and eating a lot of junk foods for comfort. I would start cleaning a room, but wouldn't complete it. I would wash clothes, then leave them unfolded on the couch for days. Promising myself I would clean my kitchen and refrigerator, then I would end up sleeping all day. I still had to finish school and struggle to pay bills. Months later, I heard about Postpartum while watching a talk show. This was in the late 90's. It all made sense. Then I started coming across articles in magazines and newspapers about depression. This was before the Internet was in every household. I was confused and lost back then and never could explain why.

Parents of Special Needs children should be allowed to express their pain

After being in several groups for parents with special needs children, I have learned that everybody handles the conditions differently and have different support systems. Some talk about autism as if it is something that they love and they don't really feel a burden of raising autistic children. Many parents like to vent and get out frustrations, but are usually shamed and told to be strong. Some parents actually feel as if they are being punished for having a child with developmental delays. This is normal for parents to feel this way. I think that every parent should be able to express themselves and talk about their pain and hardships of raising a child with special needs. Even parents that have children without delays have good and bad days. I think parents should able to get upset and express their frustrations and have safe spaces to talk about parenting special needs children. I know that it is not easy. Some parents have great support systems and families that are reliable. Some parents don't have much family and don't have solid support systems or access to services for their children. Not to mention the financial hardships that many parents face.

Parents should be able to vent and express the pain they feel about raising their special needs children . Whether it's Autism, ADHD, CP, MR, ..... No parent should be told how to express themselves or how they should feel about raising special needs children. No parent should have to hold in their frustrations because they fear being judged for complaining.

Should single mothers work and attend college

This has been a touchy topic all over social media and within our communities. Should single mothers work and attend college?
Can single mothers work, raise children and attend college? I say yes. With another Yes! And another Yes!!! Obtaining a degree, license, or certificate doesn't take a lifetime. There are Weekend colleges, online classes, as well as night courses. Colleges are now more flexible and usually most classes can be taken at home in private. Some classes only require a few hours per week, which gives a mother more time for herself and meeting the needs of her children.
A working mom, can study at the table while her children are studying. See a mother read, and complete assignments will encourage children to read and spend time studying. Children usually are inspired to see their parents working and taking on new challenges. The goal is to become educated, start a business or get a better job. Having an education will open doors to better career opportunities such as promotions and management positions. Some mothers are increasing their skills and knowledge to start a small business so that they can have a flexible schedule for their children.

Statutory Rape Cases, and why are we overlooking it(Part 1)

Statutory Rape is a subject that is often shoved under the rug in many communities. Young girls that are having sex with grown men and making babies. I've this happen throughout my childhood. I witnessed grown men laying down with teenagers and it seemed so normal. A 25 year old man with a 16 year old high school girl seemed so normal. A 22 year old man with a 15 year old girl was a common couple. It was very rare that people showed concern for teen girls having relationships with grown men. Girls knew how to hide these illegal relationships from their parents. Most parents (usually single mothers) are too busy working to notice their daughters are having relationships with grown men. Men see younger women as vulnerable and easy to mislead. A young girl that is seeking love and attention is easy prey for a grown man that is in a predator mode. A man that preys on underage girls is a predator. Even if the girl is built like a woman, dresses like a grown woman, and has older friends........She is still a child and has the mind of a child. Most teens don't realize they still think like children. Teens girls want to be grown so bad and feel independent, they don't realize they are easy prey to predator men. Predators have been getting away with sexually abusing teens because the teens are willing to be abused. Teenage girls don't know they are being abused. That's why these men that seek out teenage girls don't get charged in court. Nobody comes forward and bring these men to justice.

When I was in high school, grown men would hang around high schools and walk the malls when they knew high school girls would be present. Predators would hang around places that attracted teens and would flirt, and ask for phone numbers. Even if the girls were teens, this would motivate the men because they knew these girls were very easy to manipulate and looking for compliments and attention. These type of predators don't get addressed and will continue to sleep with teens. These sick dirty predators will continue to attend high school foot ball games and parks to seek out young vulnerable girls.

Homeless Single Mothers in Poverty

Many women are struggling in states and cities with no rent control. Many single mothers are left alone in poverty with limited help. I'm sure people will blame the women for getting pregnant by the wrong man, or by laying down with a dead beat. It's easy to blame women, and give men a pass for child abandonment, however the bigger picture is that many women and children are suffering. In most states the weather is cold and many have to reside in shelters to avoid being outdoors. I've been in a few groups on Facebook that are full of suffering women trying to climb out of the pits of  poverty. Some were abandoned by their husbands, ex boyfriends and family members. I know it's easy to say that these women are the cause of their own pain, but my heart goes out to these women. I know how hard it is to struggle with no help and be expected to stay mentally stable while caring for a young child. This is a very tough time of year especially with many people experiencing SAD. (Seasonal Depression) This is a time of year when children need new winter clothing and jackets. Children expect Christmas presents, even if you don't celebrate holidays. It can also be very mentally draining if you are not around family or in another state away from family. I've seen so many women in help groups need access to hotel vouchers, emergency shelters, and emergency money for Move in fees for apartment. I just wanted to get this off my chest because this has been on my heart.

Men that wanna be Fathers when it's convenient for them

The hardest part about being a parent, is having to do the majority of the work on your own when you and your ex spouse agreed that they would help after the split. This is not fair to a child to have a  mother that is constantly tired and overwhelmed. Not just physically overwhelmed, but financially and mentally overwhelmed. The absent parent is usually not concerned with the well being of the child or the mental health of the struggling mother. An absent father usually want to be involved when he/she is feeling guilty or when it is convenient for them. Absent fathers are involved when it fits their schedule, when they feel like it, or when they are not holding a grudge. It's not fair for the child, when he only is able to feel his father's love during sporting events or engagements like proms or graduations. The parent with full custody is responsible for taking the child/children to doctors appointments, school conferences, recreational events, and making sure they have food and clean clothing daily. The absent father is only available when he feels guilty or when it benefits him. For example, a dead beat parent will pick his children up during the holidays to show off the children as prizes or ornaments. Or the dead beat father will show up at football games or little league baseball games to play the proud father role. It's all fake to make the dead beat parent feel good about themselves. More than anything, it's not fair to the child, the child will grow to resent the dead beat parent because the child will begin to understand that he/she is only being used by the absent father.

Men that complain about paying child support

What's makes a deadbeat parent complain about paying child support? Well, most deadbeats don't want anyone giving them responsibility, that's why they avoid their children in the first place. A deadbeat parent will pay rent, buy clothing, eat, and put gas in their car to travel. Not all deadbeat dads are broke/poor.  That is a myth. They just don't feel like they have an obligation to their children. Many dead beat parents don't feel as if they should help the child/children once they split from the mom. Deadbeats complain about child support but fail to see that their children need financial support. Babies need diapers and milk. Growing toddlers need clothing and food. Growing teens have needs that require money. Let's not mention the custodial parent has to pay rent, car notes, insurance, and other necessities. The dead beat parent doesn't care about the needs of the child, they feel like the custodial parent should suffer. This is like punishing the child because the relationship didn't work. The actual factual is that the child cannot survive on air and water. A child needs financial support. It's no way around it. There are so many people on social media that complain about paying child support and comparing it to slavery. I've seen bitter women upset because their boyfriend is obligated to pay child support. There are women that feel like child support is a bitter baby momma's revenge. The truth is that whether the baby momma is bitter, angry or frustrated, the child is still entitled to eat and have support. It's not about bitterness, or two parents not getting along. Put your pride aside, put your selfishness aside and support your children. If the absent parent is the mother, then she should be obligated to pay support.

Feminist Theory Men want to raise strong Daughters but marry submissive women

How many men have told their daughters to never depend on a man and focus on their education? How many men have told their daughters to never waste their time on a man unless he's going to marry her and take care of her. I've never heard a father in my community or family tell their daughters to serve a man by being his maid, servant, or submissive wife. Why do men hate the Feminist movement but enstill values in their daughters that would resemble the same Feminist characteristics that men claim to hate.

I've often heard men make comments about their daughters becoming college graduates and never being dependent on anyone. Or men saying that their daughters better not have any babies before college/career.

Even before the Notorious BIG died he rapped the lyrics in his hit song Sky's The Limit :


"If the game shakes me or breaks me
I hope it makes me a better man
Take a better stand
Put money in my moms hand
Get my daughter this college plan, so she don't need no man
Stay far from timid
Only make moves when your heart's in it
And live the phrase Sky's The Limit"


He makes a reference to getting his daughter, whom was a baby at the time, a college grant so she won't need a man. It's quite obvious that the rapper wanted his daughter to be a career orientated woman so that she would not get trapped with a man that she has to rely on.Fathers think this way, and their is nothing wrong with wanting your daughter to have an education and be independent. The same men will talk trash about the women that work hard, have a degree and are in no rush to marry and become a mom/wife. If a father want the best for his daughter, he should want the best for every other woman. Although this song is over 15 years old, the message is still relevant today. Men want their daughters to be Independent, strong, education and self sufficient. You can't expect to raise wise women, but marry weak submissive doormat women that rub your back after you've been out cheating and lying all day.

Men telling single mothers to chose better next time

Why do men always tell women to choose better after lying to lure them in?
Whenever a woman ends up in a bad situation with a man, she is accused of choosing a bad man. Whether the man turns out to be in debt, a deadbeat father, a cheater, or abusive, the woman is usually blamed for the behavior. Or she is simply blamed for not seeing the bad behavior beforehand.

A man will convince a woman that he is faithful, building wealth, a family man and everything else she wants to hear. He will promise her everything that she desires. Men will go through every obstacles to get a woman's undivided attention. Whether he is just looking for sex, a casual girlfriend or a trophy piece to show off. Men will tell lie after lie to convince a woman that he is a Good man. Like the comedian Chris Rock said in a comedy routine years ago, when you first meet a person you are only meeting their representative. You are not meeting the real person. You are meeting a façade. The guy is usually on his best behavior and doing everything he possibly can to please and impress. He will spend money, give compliments, even give her hope for the future. Once the woman let down her guards and allow he man in, his true colors start to show.

Everything is fake. It's all a theatrical act to get a woman to open up her heart or her legs. Then once the woman gives in, she is labeled a fool. When things go down hill the woman is blamed for being stupid or naïve. She is accused of not picking a better man. It's hard to pick a good man when a man is lying about everything and wearing a mask. I always tell women to hold back and be very cautious about whom you get close to. He may appear to be nice and sweet. He will work hard at convincing you that he is a great gentleman. He will convince you that he is a great man with great potential. Men are not going to admit they are only out to get laid and play games. They are not going to tell you that they cheat and have multiple children that they don't support. Their main objective is to convince you that they are the best man for you.

Child Abuse Prevention and why are so Many Abusers Walking Free

This weekend I watched an episode of Iyanla Fix my Life. It was an episode that revealed a young woman that was molested by her Grandfather. The victim told her mother about the abuse, but it was covered up. The abused victim was told as a child, to never reveal what the grandfather had done. The grandfather was able to abuse the young woman and never serve jail time. This is sickening and disturbing. What is more disturbing, is that this story happens very often. Some victims never tell because they live in a paralyzing fear. They fear the victim. If the victim is a child, they will continue to take the abuse because they don't want to challenge an adult.

A child being abused is usually threatened. The abuser will usually tell the child that they will kill the family if the secret is exposed. Children sometimes don't know that the abuse is wrong, because the abuser will convince the child, that the sexual acts or okay. Or the abuser will bribe the child with gifts or money in order to keep the secret and have access to the innocent child.

So many family members have covered up the abuse. Sometimes a mother will not believe the stepfather because the stepfather is the breadwinner and she is afraid to be without the Stepfather. Although the stepfather is abusing the child, the mother may shut it out of her reality. The mother will block out reality and convince her child that the abuse didn't happen. Or the child is sexually abused by an uncle or an older brother and the mom doesn't want the abuser to spend time in prison. As a result, the child is left with permanent scars and years of rumination on the incident The child is left with many years of mental suffering, and may never get the tools that he/she needs to cope. This is traumatizing and the emotional scaring may never be repaired. So many victims not only live in fear for themselves, but they grow and live in fear of the same thing happening to their children. If more families would protect children and stop living by this code of protecting abusers, these abusers would stop harming children. I wish I could see more child abusers on the news getting a life sentence in prison or the death penalty to send out the message, that your life will be ruined if your sexually abuse a child.

Low Standards For Single Black Mothers

Why do men assume that Black Single mothers should lower their standards?
Men assume that black single mothers are desperate for love, attention and a warm body in their bed. Far too many men, make the assumption that single mothers should be grateful for what ever left over scraps they can get from a man. Oh, NO! This is so not true. Single mothers should have the highest standards and accept nothin but a quality man that is stable. Not just financially stable, but mentally stable as well. Single mothers can not give these men the benefit of the doubt or wait for a grown man to get his life together. Single mothers should aim for the man that is stable, healthy, and mature. Most women got into poor relationships, because we were taught to give a man the benefit of the doubt. We were taught to love a man despite his looks, career, or financial situation. That way of thinking got us in a lot of emotional trouble.

Did Welfare replace black fathers, or did fathers abandon their families by choice

Many people believe that the welfare system was set up to put black men out of the home so that black women would suffer and suffer in poverty. There are conscious community followers that believe black women put good black men out of the home in order to get food-stamps and cash aid from the government. My question is: Why would a woman put out a good hardworking man that she loves to suffer in poverty?

 I can't say that welfare was set up for this reason. Welfare was not started for black women. We need to stop believing these lies that the government wanted to give black women welfare so that the father/husband could be put out of the home. Many women needed welfare to survive when the husband died, abandoned the family, or when times got too hard and money was not available. There were women that lost their husband in death and had no insurance, as a result they had to sign up for welfare. There were men that chose drugs, crime or other women over their family.

The excuse for women being on welfare only makes the absent father or negligent husband look good. Now, a worthless no good man can leave his family, then tell the world that he was put out because of welfare. No woman is putting out a good hard working provider for crumbs. If your wife is willing to divorce you for some crumbs and some food stamps that come on an ebt card once a month, chances are, you were not providing. We need to stop with the excuses and face the facts and deal with the truth. Fabricating the truth will not change the facts. Many women needed welfare back then, and still today because they need help financially. I don't agree with welfare being a long term income, but there are women that would be homeless and hungry if it wasn't for welfare. Furthermore, the welfare system doesn't allow women to stay on the system forever. Women are encouraged to attend school, ready for work programs, or learn a trade There are time limits. No women or man can depend on welfare because there are time limits to how long you can receive assistant. We are not living in the 1960's. Things have changed.