Single Fathers VS Single Mothers

As I was browsing and clicking around on facebook, I came across a viral picture with the story of a man that was taking care of his children after his wife passed away. So many people praised and applauded the father for being a father. Many women made comments about him being a great guy, a strong male, and a stand up guy. The comments were going on and on about how this father was so great for taking care of his children. Some people even expressed sympathy for him and spoke highly of the man even though they didn't know him personally, however, I didn't see anything great.

I was not very impressed that he was being a father to his own biological children, although many people saw this single father as a hero for simply being a father. A man should be a father whether the mother is alive or not. I didn't get the hype because women take care of children alone all the time. Women get left with children everyday and become the face of welfare jokes, single momma jokes, and are shamed and slammed for taking care of the children. Single fathers get applauded and praised while single mothers are ridiculed and told to "pick better men". The bar is set so low for black fathers, which mean that a black man can do the minimum and be seen as an Icon.


All my life, I witnessed  women struggling with children while going to college, working and sometimes having to take on seasonal work just to pay the bills. Women that work hard to provide for their children are usually slammed and ridiculed. I've seen single mothers get criticized for attending working extra hours, while a single father get worshipped. Single mothers are seen as failures and carry a stigma. Could this be one of the reasons that so many mothers suffer from depression and other mental health conditions? Women are expected to work non stop, and no matter how hard we believe we are working, it's never enough. Unless your a single dad of course.

Baby Moma vs Wife

I will start off by saying that a man should not allow his gf/wife to feud with his ex/mother of his child. Children should never be put in the middle of arguments and feuds. A good man will not play women against each other. Everyone should be responsible when going into a new relationship or ending an old relationship when children are involved.

It is often assumed that the ex/baby momma is jealous of the new relationship a man has with his new spouse. In some cases, the new gf is jealous of the baby momma because she is in the man's life permanently or at least until the child is 18 years old. A man will change girlfriends, sex partners, even wives over and over but the child and the child's mother are permanent. This can bring tension to a girlfriend because she knows that the ex and the child will always be in the man's life. Some women even look at the ex/baby momma as the other woman because the man has to interact with her. I hate that women think this way, it is unhealthy and unnecessary.


There are women that see the ex and the child/children as competition that will never go away. If you are a new girlfriend to a man with children, stay out of any drama between that man and his ex. After you depart from that man, he will still be attached to his child/children. You may be temporary. Chances are, you will not be in his life forever, that is the reality. So many women have regrets after investing in a man that was only temporary. I've had friends, co-workers and neighbors tell me how they got involved with a man that had a crazy relationship with the mother of his child/children. In the end, they were exhausted after a temporary situation that didn't result in a concrete relationship. My advice to all women..... You should never have to fight a man's battles with any of his ex's or baby mommas. A man should be responsible enough to fix any issues before he tries to court another woman. That might sound unrealistic for some, but a lot of stressful situations could and should be avoided.

In some situations, a man will encourage the feuding because it make him feel like a prize that two women are competing over. Some men use these unfortunate situations to feed his big ego. There are women that will play right into this and fight without realizing they are only building up his ego by playing a silly game of tug a war. A real man would never allow his ego to cloud his judgement.
For the record, I hate using the term "Baby Momma".