As I was browsing and clicking around on facebook, I came across a viral picture with the story of a man that was taking care of his children after his wife passed away. So many people praised and applauded the father for being a father. Many women made comments about him being a great guy, a strong male, and a stand up guy. The comments were going on and on about how this father was so great for taking care of his children. Some people even expressed sympathy for him and spoke highly of the man even though they didn't know him personally, however, I didn't see anything great.
I was not very impressed that he was being a father to his own biological children, although many people saw this single father as a hero for simply being a father. A man should be a father whether the mother is alive or not. I didn't get the hype because women take care of children alone all the time. Women get left with children everyday and become the face of welfare jokes, single momma jokes, and are shamed and slammed for taking care of the children. Single fathers get applauded and praised while single mothers are ridiculed and told to "pick better men". The bar is set so low for black fathers, which mean that a black man can do the minimum and be seen as an Icon.
All my life, I witnessed women struggling with children while going to college, working and sometimes having to take on seasonal work just to pay the bills. Women that work hard to provide for their children are usually slammed and ridiculed. I've seen single mothers get criticized for attending working extra hours, while a single father get worshipped. Single mothers are seen as failures and carry a stigma. Could this be one of the reasons that so many mothers suffer from depression and other mental health conditions? Women are expected to work non stop, and no matter how hard we believe we are working, it's never enough. Unless your a single dad of course.
I agree with this completely. However, I understand why they do it. A single father is rarely seen versus a single mother. People are bored with single mothers. It's like going to the zoo to see dogs or cats. That's normal and seen everywhere. A single father... not so much. And all of this is probably coming from people who don't have men in their own lives and get all giddy about a man actually doing what he should be doing. I don't have a man in my life (except for my son). There isn't a father, a grandfather, nothing (on both sides of my kids family). It's a dangerous set-up of our society but it is very real. And this is how our society responses in hopes of getting men to act right.
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