College Debt Crisis and What parents need to teach their Children

Growing up, I recall having dreams of going off to college and becoming a part of the nursing field   or becoming a social worker. Like many children, I grew up thinking that going away to college was a fail proof ride to success. I never really thought about the struggle of working while in college or the amount of debt that I could end up in with student loans. All I heard over and over is that college is the way to success and happiness. Teachers and coaches often spoke about college as if it was the ultimate goal after high school. I recall career days in high school where several colleges would come to our campus and cheer on about how great college was. They made college seem so exciting and the only way to obtain a successful career.
Now, with all the debt that Americans are in, is it really worth it to go to a four year college? Parents still push their children to attend college, even without scholarships and college funds planned ahead. Parents should invest and save for their children's college education if they want their children to attend.

I recently spoke to a young woman that attended college and took out over 80K in student loans. She is still searching for employment after receiving her BA in social work. She expressed how she was overwhelmed with debt and how peers in her age bracket didn't attend a 4 year college and are currently employed and don't have student loan debt. Although ever situation is unique, every person should investigate and research on their own before taking out loans and attending college.
Many parents don't research. They just want to send their children to college and chase a dream. There are too many things to take into consideration. Like picking a major, the cost of college, and the amount of student loan debt after attending college. Also take into consideration that junior colleges and community colleges are usually free for low income families.There are also entrepreneurship workshops, business classes at local adult schools and small trade schools. I have witnessed many parents pushing their children to college and not realizing they are encouraging student loan debt and not do any research on majors.

Parents should encourage their children to take internships, work regular jobs and attend business workshops. This experience will allow children to pick their own career and follow their own destiny.  A young adult will discover where he or she wants to be in life. This will give them knowledge, wisdom and a sense of independence. Everyone will not take the traditional path to college. High school children should be exposed to business investors, entrepreneurs, and other self employed trades. Parents are pushing their children to attend college, without allowing them to follow their own dreams.

I am not against college, I have a degree and I am working on a second one. I just want young adults to chose college on their own and not be forced into it. This leads to regrets, and resentment.

The Symptoms of Depression, The Tears and Fears

Depression has often been referred to as a silent killer, robbing a person of their happiness, strength, energy and health. It doesn't have to be this way. Depression doesn't have to drain you everyday and steal your joy. Stand up to depression. Cry it out, then get up and fight back. Depression will make you feel as if you have no purpose in life. That is the dirty trick that depression plays on you. Depression will pull you back into bed when you know you have things to get accomplished. Depression will tell you to continue eating although you set a goal to lose weight. Depression will tell you that your beauty has faded.

It is hard yes, it is a struggle when you don't want to get out bed, when you want to sit in a dark house with the curtains closed. Those are the days that you have to give yourself that extra push. Force yourself out of the house. Force yourself to the gym, to the grocery store, or to the park to walk and enjoy nature. Don't let depression keep you hidden away. Depression is a battle. The more you stay locked away and isolated, the more you become depressed. Face depression and fight back. The more you postpone cleaning up or organizing your life, the more you feel unaccomplished. This is the cycle of depression. Face depression, face all fears, shed tears, then get back up. Continue to get up. You deserve your happiness. You deserve to get out of the house everyday, you deserved to be happy and enjoy life. You deserve to be free. Come out of that mental hostage and take your life back. You are entitled to yours. It's your life. It's a struggle, but you only live once.

Abortion Facts, The Truth and the New Laws

It is not uncommon to find a woman that has not had an abortion or considered abortion for an unplanned pregnancy. Birth control fails, relationships fail and some women have no other choice but to terminate a pregnancy. I know that women are shammed for terminating a pregnancy and its usually because of religion or their culture. The truth is, the Laws are changing and more women are finding it harder to gain access to birth control. Some states have certain rules and regulations for obtaining birth control. Now with Alabama putting a ban on abortions, this will be a problem. Many women are already struggling with children. Married couples are struggling emotionally and financially. So if a woman forget to take her birth control pill or a condom breaks, there will be no way for the mother to abort. What does this mean to a couple that wish not to have more children? What does this mean to a college girl that had sex with her boyfriend and didn't use protection? What does this mean for a woman that is taking birth control and her birth control fails. Let's face it, birth control is not 100% effective. You can easily be that person that becomes pregnant after getting a birth control shot or using a condom.

Now, with the proposed ban in Alabama, more women will be forced to give birth even if they were raped. I could not imagine having to carry a baby for a rapist. Women will be forced to do this. In addition, imagine the emotional turmoil for having to carry, birth, and raise a child that you were forced to have. A lot of children will end up in the foster system, or abused and neglected. Also, we have to consider children that have birth defects. Mothers will be forced to birth them as well and raise them. 

There are mothers that are already in bad financial situations and cannot afford to birth another child. Even married couples are going through hardships. Bringing another child into a poor situation will make things worse for the family and the unexpected child. 

Cat Calling and Street Harassment is Intimidating, it's not casual Flirting

Walking out in public as a woman can be a constant danger zone. With men lurking around parking lots, stores, and public streets, we as women never know what to expect. Some men go overboard and become disrespectful and combative while trying to engage with a woman. This is very intimidating and uncalled for. If a woman is not interested, she has the right to say so and not fear for her life. A woman shouldn't be uncomfortable while out in public running errands.

Men have entitlement issues and feel defeated when a woman turn them down. Even if the woman is nice and turns the guy down gentle, some men still feel offended. For some men, a woman turning them down is like being spat on. Engaging in public shouldn't have to be this complicated. If a woman is welcoming and inviting, then talk to her as long as she is comfortable. If a woman is not interested and doesn't want to give out her number or other contact info, let her be. As a woman, I often feel unsafe in public.

I often worry about younger women that have to walk home from school, or get up early to walk their dogs. Men are out driving around and lurking constantly looking for a fresh peace of flesh to chase around. There are men that I've witnessed myself, pulling up to the curb to yell out compliments to high school girls and young college girls trying to make it home. These grown men do not care that they are coming off intimidating. They don't consider that the young woman are afraid, and doesn't know what to expect when a complete stranger pulls up and honks his horn. There is a thin line behind flirting and harassment. Flirting is respectful and playful, harassment is rude and make the person on the receiving end intimidated.

Suffering from depression as a Young woman

Growing up, I recall being happy and carefree. Even though I went through hardships, I still remember being happy and full of life. Like most children, I had dreams and goals that thought about. how life would be as an adult. I wanted to travel, go away to college, party, then settle down with a wealthy husband that would worship the ground I walked upon. That all sounded good, and looking back probably unrealistic. Regardless I was happy and enjoyed life up until my late teens when I became a mother. Yep, I suffered from bouts of postpartum depression but never was diagnosed. Back then, postpartum depression was still a taboo subject that everyone was told to just pray about. Things got worse over time as I began working, being a single mother, then an abusive relationship. I feel deep into depression. A deep dark depression. Some days I felt like I was buried alive. Physically living, but my soul was dead. I was just shifting through life with no purpose, no meaning. Working day to day just to pay bills, then waking up every morning feeling defeated. I would wake up tired and had to drag myself out of bed daily.

I would sit and think "How did it get like this" I use to be happy. I use to love life and have friends. I use to look forward to hanging out, laughing and being social. I couldn't find myself. I couldn't find that happy person. I was somebody different. I was depressed but couldn't figure out why.

Growing up as a child, no one looks forward to suffering from depression. Who prepares for depression or other mental health issues? I never heard of a class growing up that prepares children for depression. Depression was never really spoken about it. It was something that just comes from out of nowhere like a fucking wrecking ball. What happened to the good ol' days. What happened to laughing and telling jokes with friends? What happened to listening to loud music, feeling happy and looking forward to a prosperous future. I'm still fighting for the dream I had as a child. My dream was to simply be happy.

A deadbeat's Favorite Excuse for Being an Absent Dad

Women, be very cautious and suspect when a man says "I can't see my children, or "She won't let me see my kids". Or "She won't tell me were she live with my kids".

Issues like this can be resolved in court and it doesn't cost money for a man to file paperwork for visitations and joint custody.
In many cases, the mother has a restraining order on the father because of violence or vandalism of property. A judge will normally allow visitations even if the father is behind in child support or has been to prison. The judge will make arrangements for monitored visitations. Even drug addicts and men with mental health problems are allowed to see their children under monitored visitations.
These men are not telling you the full story. They are not telling you about the domestic violence, stalking, threatening text messages, and vandalizing property that led up to restraining orders. Even still they can get monitored visitations.
But it's always easy to just "She Won't Let Me" to avoid explaining that you have a history of abuse and neglect.

If a father wants to see his children, and he claims he is dealing with a difficult woman, he can always go to court. He can petition the court for visitations and joint custody. There are relationships that ended sour for whatever reasons, however a child should have both parents in their lives. It is not fair for a father to be absent. It is also unfair for a mother to isolate the children from the father for personal reasons, but if their is a history of violence, stalking, and vandalism, the mother has every right to protect herself/child/property from a violent father. From that point the parents need to deal with court system and have a mediator.