Friday, April 2, 2021

Intimate Friends or Friends with benefits is a waste of time for women

We all have heard the saying "Friends with Benefits" or "Intimate Friends". These terms describe relationships where there is no commitment or responsibilities for either parties involved.  These situations usually start out as casual fun and sex between two people in lust. Eventually feelings develop or anticipation of a fulltime relationship may seem like a goal. These type of relationships should not last for long and should be treated as temporary flings. Some women find themselves thinking the guy is their actual friend they can call when they have emergencies or when they find themselves in trouble. The truth is, most women will find out that "Friends with Benefits" is only a cute term for two people that are sleeping together without the responsibilities of being in a real relationship. Men take advantage of these type of situations by leading a woman to think she will be his  girlfriend or if she keeps giving up her body he will eventually develop feelings and commit. This is all a game and the guy is usually sleeping with multiple women while lying and manipulating them all. Or he has a fulltime girlfriend/wife he is cheating on, so he would rather keep things casual.  He cannot commit and he is really in love with himself. He is in love with having his needs met by more than one woman.

If you cannot call a man for food, money, a ride, or just to vent, he is not your friend. If you cannot hang out with him without sex being involved, then he is not a friend. If he treat you like a burden after sex, he is not a friend. "Friends with Benefits" or "Intimate Friends" is just a cute terms that means two people have sex with no commitment. 

Friday, April 3, 2020

More women are relying on sex toys to get them through the nation's crisis

For women being home alone, or with children there are not many outlets for stress, boredom or depression. Not knowing what is in store for the economy can cause many to panic. For many women they are turning to sex toys to take the place of loneliness. Not being able to go on dates, attend events with friends or go out for retail therapy can take it's toll on most women. Many are ordering sex toys from vibrators, dildos, to anal beads to achieve orgasms. This is a great stress reliever and can be done at anytime during the day. Being home without the company of a spouse, friends, or family members can make life more stressful. Women are taking this time to have relax and have orgasms. The release of an orgasm can put the body at ease and make it easier to relax and relieve tension.
Having a partner is not an option for some. Finding someone online can be harmful with the coronavirus being spread rapidly. Also, a partner can be more stressful during this time because some single men are only looking for housing and food until the crisis is over.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Take your mind off the CoronaVirus to preserve Your Mental Health

People are stressed and exhausted while driving all over trying to find food, cleaning supplies, and tissue. People with children are worried about feeding their little ones and keeping them occupied while they are out of school. We must also think about our mental health and how to stay calm during this crisis. I know families are anxious, depressed, scared, overwhelmed with fear of what is happening and what it means for our future. The thought of our country going into another recession has people up all night ruminating.

No need to panic, but we should be safe, cautious, and make sure we stay in doors as much as we can. We must continuously wash our hands and cover our coughs while outdoors. Even inside, make sure to limit visitors and use bleach and lysol to clean. If you do not have either, use hot water and a soap mixture to clean door handles, light switches, remotes, laptops and countertops.
We should be concerned especially those of us that have children and the elderly that have weakened immune systems. Our stores are being cleaned out because people are in panic mode and assuming stores we all have to survive without new merchandise for the next weeks or months. We must have faith and be optimistic about the turnout of this crisis. Try not to worry to the point you are constantly in fear of getting sick.

Ways to relax and take your mind off the CoronaVirus while indoors

Turn off the TV and Social Media. Turn the news off. It will worry you and over exaggerate things

Do some cleaning around the house. Rearrange the kitchen cabinets, book cases, or bathrooms

Read those books and magazine you've have sitting around.

Call friends and have a real conversation. Talk about highschool, fun times, romance, or future plans.

Watch a funny movie or a comedy show.

Watch cartoons with the kids. Have fun to take their mind off the chaos.

Draw or color some pictures.

Do a crossword puzzle.

Meditate. Do some deep breathing exercises to relax.

Do a fitness routine. Find some on youtube.

Turn up some music and dance. Burn some calories.

Take a long warm bubble bath with candles. Use a good smelly shower gel or bath bombs.

Write a handwritten note to someone, even if they never read it.

Monday, January 20, 2020

Women feel happier and Liberated after Divorce

When I see headlines of a celebrity couple getting a divorce, or someone announces on social media they are separating, I never feel sad. I feel as if the relationship took it's toll , became unbearable and something had to give. Separation and divorce is the start to a new beginning. For any two people to separate means the relationship became a burden filled with unhappiness. Whatever caused the separation whether cheating, money problems, abuse, or substance abuse, it is always best to withdraw from a relationship that is draining the happiness out of us.

Some women will stay in a relationship because of security, children, social pressure, or the image of being in a relationship. Women have been pressured to always have a man or to be on the hunt for one. Society has placed pressure on women to the point some of us feel unfulfilled if a man is not involved in our lives.

I have seen a new group of women in this generation that are happier after divorce. Women are no longer walking in shame after divorce. Divorce is a new beginning to a new life. You do not need a husband to travel, accomplish goals, feel loved, or fit into social norms. No woman should stay in a marriage because she wants to create a certain image to make others feel comfortable. Staying in an unhealthy marriage is depressing as well as toxic. Women are learning this and leaving their cheating spouses and abusive lovers to find peace and self love. Divorce means starting all over for a newly divorced woman, but it doesn't mean pain and bitterness. It's a time to celebrate while leaving the baggage and pain behind.

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Goals and Mental Awareness Check for the New Decade 2020

New year New Decade. Everyone has set goals and have new things they are starting for the New Year. Weight Loss, going back to school, buying new furniture or taking a new class.
Do not forget about things such as mental health improvement. Let's set goals for things that really affect our mental health such as cutting off negative toxic people that weigh us down. Let's get out of any relationship that doesn't bring us happiness and peace. Let's stop procrastinating to the point it make our life messy, cluttered, and leaves us worried and stressed at the last minute. For example, doing school work at the last minute or laundry at the last minute will cause stress and clutter in our lives. Time to declutter our rooms, work areas, kitchens and purses. Let's get organized.

Friday, November 29, 2019

Coping with Holiday and Seasonal Depression

When most people think of Holidays such as Christmas and Easter, we tend to think of families getting together to exchange gifts, have potlucks, and traveling to see loved ones. We think of Holiday music and lots of Holiday cheer, but to a person suffering from depression the Holiday season can be triggering. Especially for depressed people that have no family or friends to celebrate with. Imagine a person that have lost their parents, or grew up in foster care without a permanent home and family. Imagine the pain and sadness that people are feeling.
For example, there are mothers suffering from depression that cannot purchase gifts and Christmas decorations for their family. There is a lot of pressure for parents to buy new gifts and new clothes for their little ones. Some of us cannot afford to because of financial reasons.
We know Christmas is for giving to others, but children do not understand the concept, they only know they should be getting new gifts. Even when we explain things to children it may be hard for them to fully understand and accept the true meaning of giving and being compassionate for others.

Even for people that do not normally suffer from depression, the Holidays can bring on anxiety and sadness. The highways are over crowded with travelers and stores are full of long lines. It can be a overwhelming for a person to endure. In addition, we are expected to shop for others or participate in gift pulls at work which can be costly.

Here are some tips on coping with Holiday and Seasonal Depression

1. Don't feel obligated to max out credit cards and clean out your bank account on material items. Whether it's for family, coworkers, or friends. Have a budget and stick to it. If you cannot afford to purchase expensive items, do not purchase expensive items.

2. You do not have to be alone for the holidays. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or go to church. You can google toy drives, food giveaways and Church functions that need extra helpers.

3.You may have lost family members through death or family is too far away. Contact them online if they are too far to visit. Get grief counseling if you are still mourning the loss of a loved one. Some churches and nonprofit organizations have it for free.

4. Make your house festive at a low price. Get decorations at Dollar Stores and thrift shops. Or, buy some artificial plants and pictures to make your home colorful.

5. Use this time to complete goals, whether it's to start a new business, get a gym membership, or start a new class. Use the holiday season to work on goals and self improvement. Write down future plans and goals. You do not have to wait until January 1st to start a New years Resolution.

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Childless women need to stop invading Discussions for mothers

Too many parenting discussions have been invaded by childless women making derogatory comments and meddling in our safe space. Mothers should have a safe space to talk about problems and issues as well as give and get advice from other mothers. 

Facebook, blogs, and twitter have had many discussions about the issues that surround parenting. Everything is discussed from child support, child care, postpartum depression, to co-parenting with an ex. In many groups, we always have a handful of childless women chime in to brag about how they were super responsible with birth control, or how they refuse to have children until they are in the perfect situation. Child less women will come bragging about how they are able to travel, get 5 degrees, and how they have so much free time to relax because they don't have children.
I have no problems or hate towards women that choose not to have children. I actually commend them for waiting and doing what's best for themselves. My issue is childless women that love to come into groups for mothers, or getting into discussions and ridicule and shame mothers. Or brag about how they got an abortion because they are so much more responsible.

Recently, there was a mother on a popular blog sharing her story of how she had regrets about becoming a mother. She was open and honest about how she felt. She was obviously tired and overwhelmed. Many mothers have had regrets about becoming a mother, for whatever reasons. We as mothers should be able to share our feelings and express ourselves without having childless women bust in our safe space and ridicule us or boast about how they are doing so much better.
There have also been childless women making jokes about single mothers and expressing how they hate children. Yes, HATE!  If you are not a mother and don't plan on having children, why come into a discussion for mothers and make the discussion about YOU? Mothers, should be able to vent and share information with other mothers. We all have issues, regrets, and problems with parenting, even if we are married and have a strong support system. Most mothers go through trials that make us wonder if we should have become a mother. Mothers usually get over this as their children get older and they find peace as a mother. This is natural and we should be able to express ourselves in peace, without childless women coming to police us or point fingers at us. We go through enough that childless women would never imagine or understand.

If you chose to not have children or abort, or put your child up for adoption, feel free to do so.I applaud women for not having children. It's your right, it's your choice. No shame from me, but also respect mothers and allow them to vent. It reminds me of light skin women that invade safe spaces for darker women. Or slim women that cry out for attention when large women are venting.
If you want to brag about being a childless woman, go brag and boast with other childless women. Do not come into a parent group or a discussion for mothers. Many childless women are not even bragging, they are venting and meddling. It's almost like a hobby for childless women to pop into a discussion for mothers to whine about something or brag about how their birth control never failed them. We respect your decision to not become a parent, so please respect our safe space and allow us to have discussions in peace.

Intimate Friends or Friends with benefits is a waste of time for women

We all have heard the saying "Friends with Benefits" or "Intimate Friends". These terms describe relationships where the...