Monday, August 2, 2021

Men using body shaming tactics to demean plus size women after rejection

 Recently, while browsing social media, I read a post from a random guy that made a mockery of a  woman's weight. The random  man made a post about large women being too picky in mates when their options are so limited. He body shammed the woman because she wasn't interested in him after a few dates. She declined him intimacy. He ridiculed the woman because of her weight, but actually he was ridiculing her because she didn't entertain his sexual advances. He was making fun of her, not only because she was an overweight woman, but because he felt like she was obligated to entertain his sexual advances. 

Any woman or man regardless of size or body type should not feel obligated to sleep with anyone or entertain anyone because they are obese. I have witnessed several men make disgusting comments about overweight women because the woman didn't give them her number or entertain any type of intimate advances. Usually when a man is rejected,  his ego is deflated and he is embarrassed. The next thing to do is salvage his ego by retaliating on the woman by demeaning her for whatever he sees as a flaw. For overweight women, the flaw they see is weight, but this is after they've been rejected. While the guy is flirting and trying to court the woman, he may say things such as "You are so beautiful" or "I love plus size women" "I only date large women" or my favorite line "All of my exes were big". These are usually gift of gab pick up lines to make the woman feel that he genuinely admires large women.

This is actually pretty common with men everyday and on social media. If they cannot get any attention in the direct messages, these men will resort to name calling and body shamming. This is usually what a man with low self esteem and narcissistic personality traits has to do when he feels rejected. He has to immediately retaliate with childish name calling like a bratty toddler that can have the last cookie. That same man could have just been giving out compliments prior, but as soon as he feels rejected, he goes into retaliation mode. These same men will accuse large women of having insecurity issues simply because they are declining any advances. Large women and men have feelings like anyone of any other size and should be treated with dignity. A large woman does not have to sleep with a random man regardless of how nice he plays, how much money he has, or how good he believes he look. All women have the right to decline any man, no matter what she looks like, her income status, or her education level. A person is allowed to pick who they see fit as a spouse to be their mate. Even if they have to wait years, they are adults and can choose whatever kind of mate they want. Even if their standards seem unrealistic, they still have every right to have standards. This includes large people. Large women are not the welcome wagon for any lonely/horny man that thinks a fat woman is easy access for sex. No woman should be viewed as such. I really hope large, plus size, overweight, obese, chubby, chunky, plumper women (however you choose to describe your beautiful plus size body) should not feel obligated to entertain any man because she is overweight.

Sunday, August 1, 2021

Why Serial Daters and Players get played by smart experienced women

 Many men are constantly on the hunt for new women to conquer as prey. Usually for sex, to use as a trophy piece or to impress friend/colleagues. Many would consider these men players, womanizers, or serial daters. These types of men see women as objects to be used and disposed. They see women as objects and not humans with emotions, feelings. and personal needs. They see women as objects to be used for sex, to fulfill a mental void,  or for momentarily ego stroking. 

With men being so open online all over social media about how they view women, women have gotten the memo. We have gotten the memo and have learned how to play the same dating games that men play. Not because we are in a competition with men, but because we refuse to be on the short end of the stick when it comes to dating. We are no longer falling for the "I'm going through a messy divorce" or "I'd rather just come hang out at your house" or "I'm just looking to meet new people, but nothin serious". Smart women do not fall victim to love bombing, gas lighting, and narcissistic men that are only out for ego stroking and doses of romance to get them through their loneliness.  Yes, smart women have made mistakes in dating and even got their hopes up to high with the wrong men, however smart women have learned how to watch for red flags. These red flags can be anger issues, narcissist personality traits, and men that look to demean women and use us as sex objects. Smart women know how to enjoy the first few dates, have fun, live in the moment, then move on. Women are no longer being tricked and manipulated into situationships that have no meaning. These situationships are usually a man treating a woman to a few dates, sending "good morning beautiful texts", then pressuring her for casual sex but no real friendship, commitment or plans for a future. These types of serial daters feel as if women are obligated to sleep with them because they have shown a small amount of interest. Men will lie while trying to use the gift of gab to corner a woman into his bedroom. They usually use love bombing, money, or intimidation to lure women into their web. By intimidation, they may tell a woman she must have low self esteem if she is not interested in sex. Or they will tell a woman that men have more opportunities in the dating world to make a woman feel like she has no other alternatives to find a mate. 

Smart women with experience know how to maneuver through love bombing serial daters. Smart women only date for causal intimacy, dinners, company, and social engagement. Smart women know how to get more out of the situationship without getting used or hurt. Women have learned from past experiences and now navigate through the messy dating world much differently in their mid life than they did in their 20's and 30's.  Unless a woman is looking to marry soon, she should be more focused on her career, education, having fun, bonding with close friends, traveling, and exploring new hobbies. If a guy is only out for self pleasure while dated, he should be ghosted immediately. Losing sleep and having emotional setbacks because some womanizing serial dater wants to find a new toy is so outdated.

Friday, April 2, 2021

Intimate Friends or Friends with benefits is a waste of time for women

We all have heard the saying "Friends with Benefits" or "Intimate Friends". These terms describe relationships where there is no commitment or responsibilities for either parties involved.  These situations usually start out as casual fun and sex between two people in lust. Eventually feelings develop or anticipation of a fulltime relationship may seem like a goal. These type of relationships should not last for long and should be treated as temporary flings. Some women find themselves thinking the guy is their actual friend they can call when they have emergencies or when they find themselves in trouble. The truth is, most women will find out that "Friends with Benefits" is only a cute term for two people that are sleeping together without the responsibilities of being in a real relationship. Men take advantage of these type of situations by leading a woman to think she will be his  girlfriend or if she keeps giving up her body he will eventually develop feelings and commit. This is all a game and the guy is usually sleeping with multiple women while lying and manipulating them all. Or he has a fulltime girlfriend/wife he is cheating on, so he would rather keep things casual.  He cannot commit and he is really in love with himself. He is in love with having his needs met by more than one woman.

If you cannot call a man for food, money, a ride, or just to vent, he is not your friend. If you cannot hang out with him without sex being involved, then he is not a friend. If he treat you like a burden after sex, he is not a friend. "Friends with Benefits" or "Intimate Friends" is just a cute terms that means two people have sex with no commitment. 

Friday, April 3, 2020

More women are relying on sex toys to get them through the nation's crisis

For women being home alone, or with children there are not many outlets for stress, boredom or depression. Not knowing what is in store for the economy can cause many to panic. For many women they are turning to sex toys to take the place of loneliness. Not being able to go on dates, attend events with friends or go out for retail therapy can take it's toll on most women. Many are ordering sex toys from vibrators, dildos, to anal beads to achieve orgasms. This is a great stress reliever and can be done at anytime during the day. Being home without the company of a spouse, friends, or family members can make life more stressful. Women are taking this time to have relax and have orgasms. The release of an orgasm can put the body at ease and make it easier to relax and relieve tension.
Having a partner is not an option for some. Finding someone online can be harmful with the coronavirus being spread rapidly. Also, a partner can be more stressful during this time because some single men are only looking for housing and food until the crisis is over.

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Take your mind off the CoronaVirus to preserve Your Mental Health

People are stressed and exhausted while driving all over trying to find food, cleaning supplies, and tissue. People with children are worried about feeding their little ones and keeping them occupied while they are out of school. We must also think about our mental health and how to stay calm during this crisis. I know families are anxious, depressed, scared, overwhelmed with fear of what is happening and what it means for our future. The thought of our country going into another recession has people up all night ruminating.

No need to panic, but we should be safe, cautious, and make sure we stay in doors as much as we can. We must continuously wash our hands and cover our coughs while outdoors. Even inside, make sure to limit visitors and use bleach and lysol to clean. If you do not have either, use hot water and a soap mixture to clean door handles, light switches, remotes, laptops and countertops.
We should be concerned especially those of us that have children and the elderly that have weakened immune systems. Our stores are being cleaned out because people are in panic mode and assuming stores we all have to survive without new merchandise for the next weeks or months. We must have faith and be optimistic about the turnout of this crisis. Try not to worry to the point you are constantly in fear of getting sick.

Ways to relax and take your mind off the CoronaVirus while indoors

Turn off the TV and Social Media. Turn the news off. It will worry you and over exaggerate things

Do some cleaning around the house. Rearrange the kitchen cabinets, book cases, or bathrooms

Read those books and magazine you've have sitting around.

Call friends and have a real conversation. Talk about highschool, fun times, romance, or future plans.

Watch a funny movie or a comedy show.

Watch cartoons with the kids. Have fun to take their mind off the chaos.

Draw or color some pictures.

Do a crossword puzzle.

Meditate. Do some deep breathing exercises to relax.

Do a fitness routine. Find some on youtube.

Turn up some music and dance. Burn some calories.

Take a long warm bubble bath with candles. Use a good smelly shower gel or bath bombs.

Write a handwritten note to someone, even if they never read it.

Monday, January 20, 2020

Women feel happier and Liberated after Divorce

When I see headlines of a celebrity couple getting a divorce, or someone announces on social media they are separating, I never feel sad. I feel as if the relationship took it's toll , became unbearable and something had to give. Separation and divorce is the start to a new beginning. For any two people to separate means the relationship became a burden filled with unhappiness. Whatever caused the separation whether cheating, money problems, abuse, or substance abuse, it is always best to withdraw from a relationship that is draining the happiness out of us.

Some women will stay in a relationship because of security, children, social pressure, or the image of being in a relationship. Women have been pressured to always have a man or to be on the hunt for one. Society has placed pressure on women to the point some of us feel unfulfilled if a man is not involved in our lives.

I have seen a new group of women in this generation that are happier after divorce. Women are no longer walking in shame after divorce. Divorce is a new beginning to a new life. You do not need a husband to travel, accomplish goals, feel loved, or fit into social norms. No woman should stay in a marriage because she wants to create a certain image to make others feel comfortable. Staying in an unhealthy marriage is depressing as well as toxic. Women are learning this and leaving their cheating spouses and abusive lovers to find peace and self love. Divorce means starting all over for a newly divorced woman, but it doesn't mean pain and bitterness. It's a time to celebrate while leaving the baggage and pain behind.

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Goals and Mental Awareness Check for the New Decade 2020

New year New Decade. Everyone has set goals and have new things they are starting for the New Year. Weight Loss, going back to school, buying new furniture or taking a new class.
Do not forget about things such as mental health improvement. Let's set goals for things that really affect our mental health such as cutting off negative toxic people that weigh us down. Let's get out of any relationship that doesn't bring us happiness and peace. Let's stop procrastinating to the point it make our life messy, cluttered, and leaves us worried and stressed at the last minute. For example, doing school work at the last minute or laundry at the last minute will cause stress and clutter in our lives. Time to declutter our rooms, work areas, kitchens and purses. Let's get organized.

Men using body shaming tactics to demean plus size women after rejection

 Recently, while browsing social media, I read a post from a random guy that made a mockery of a  woman's weight. The random  man made a...